by Jes

It was a good thing that the Canucks/Flames game was on Pay-Per-View, since I didn't have to witness the Canucks choking away another must-win game by failing to score more than a single goal against a weaker team.

It's also good that I've long been at peace with the fact that the Canucks weren't going anywhere this spring (other than golfing), so I didn't have much of an emotional investment in our city's professional hockey country club.

So, last night's loss booted the Canucks out of the playoff picture, and I barely flinched. Meh, nobody is really surprised, except Dave "No Action" Nonis.

Given my heavy workload with my CMA and actual day job, I haven't had time to worry so much about what the Canucks should do this off-season. There will be time for that, later.

In the meantime, we are lucky enough to have the Giants to cheer for, and I can always leap onto the Penguins/Crosby bandwagon. Wouldn't it be sweet if the Pens and Caps met up in Round 1?

Since I don't feel inspired to write much more on this day of mourning, I figure I'd let my girlfriend, Aurian, have a crack at the blogmike and air out her thoughts on this wasted season

---

Well, looks like it’s about time for the Canucks to put down their hockey sticks and pick up some golf clubs.

Can`t say I am surprised. Last year’s Canucks seemed to specialize in winning game after game at the last minute. This year’s Canucks’ speciality is blowing games and falling apart. Last year, they were buzzed at having a top-tier goaltender in the pipes and played their hearts out. This year, the Luongo buzz is over now and the team obviously expected the goalie to do the work for them.

Sorry, but even Louie can’t score goals.

The defence was decimated by injuries all season long, and did pretty well considering some games we only had 3 regular d-men in the line up.

The forwards? Well, you didn`t really expect Pettinger and Ibister to fix last year’s scoring issues did you? I don`t know why Nonis expected that. Sure, he rolled the dice and got lucky with Pyatt, but c’mon, you can`t expect to get lucky every time. The Sedins? Yeah, you try scoring when the other team knows all they have to do is dog pile two guys and you effectively take away the Canucks’ offense. Its sad when one of your team’s top six scoring leaders is Burrows (no knock on the guy, he`s an awesome find).

I have no idea why Vigneault kept leaving Linden out, given that the team seems to play better when he is in the line up. With all those overtime games lost, if we had Linden, our most reliable clutch guy in the line up on those nights, we might have squeaked into the playoffs.

You know something though? I`m glad they`re out of the playoffs. You heard me right. This team just couldn`t put together any string of wins lately, played stupid and listlessly, couldn`t seem to get any urgency going and I`m glad that they and the fans have been put out of their misery.

This team had some nice building blocks at the beginning of the season, but all Nonis did was sit on his thumbs and hope for the best, despite the clear lack of scoring. I am glad he did not trade away big assets during the trade deadline because by that point I honestly did not think the team had that something that made it appropriate to gamble for a Stanley Cup run. We could have lost Edler, Kesler and other important pieces for a future team in order to rent Brad Richards (bet the Stars love that fat contract now *snark*). The time to get the pieces should have been before the season started. Ibister? Richie? C`mon, it was clear we needed some scoring, dammit!

So the ‘Nucks are out. If Nonis does not do anything to fix the ongoing problem in the offseason, the fans will probably break out the pitchforks and boiling oil. Or being Vancouver, the pointy umbrellas and boiling Starbucks coffee.

Labels: Aurian, Canucks, rants

by Jes

Oh, dear, the people in this city really are a bunch of numbnuts. Not only does Vancouver possess possibly the worst drivers in all of Canada, but the denizens of Lotusland often need a smack out of their apathetic stupor.

From Columbus Alive!

On our City Limits blog at ColumbusAlive.com, we've been writing a lot about Columbus' quest for some sort of marketable identity. So we couldn't resist this telling tidbit, reported by Tom Reed in Saturday's Dispatch:

Ken Hitchcock's most humbling moment as Blue Jackets coach came in this radiant city on the Pacific Coast [Vancouver, British Columbia].

Hitchcock was trying to clear Canadian customs last summer when the agent asked him his occupation. He told the man he coached the NHL franchise in Columbus.

The agent grew suspicious and countered by saying, "There's no NHL team in Columbus."

I wonder if the agent was joking. It's almost too funny to be true. Sheesh. If a Canada Customs agent doesn't know there is a hockey team in Columbus, then they should be fired. Seriously.

If you want to purchase a housing unit, do NOT come to Vancouver. Seriously, we don't need more people here. I wish about 400,000 of you pointless morons would pick up and move to Toronto, or Alberta.

The average price of a house is nearing the million dollar mark. With ever-increasing amounts of homeless people on the streets of this 'fine' city, it's just sickening that housing continues to get more and more expensive.

DO NOT MOVE HERE!!! GO AWAY!!!

Ohlund might be out for the remainder of the season with bone chips in his knee. Lovely. As if the season wasn't already in the toilet deep enough as it is. Might as well push in the plunger all the frickin way. Who do I cheer for in the playoffs? Boston?

Some good news for once: CanWest is losing readers for it's daily papers in Vancouver. For those who don't know, our two major newspapers (yes, both of them) are owned and operating by the same evil corporate empire. They also own many of the major dailies all across Canada, and pollute the paperwaves with more crap than FOX affiliates.

The two CanWest MediaWorks daily papers in the Lower Mainland, the Vancouver Sun and Province, have lost more than 100,000 "read yesterday" readers between them over the past year, according to the newspaper industry's own research.

The Newspaper Audience Databank's 2007 survey, which was released yesterday, showed that 77,600 fewer people reported that they read the Province on the previous day (dropping from 491,600 to 414,000).

The five-day cumulative readership of the Province (people who picked up the paper once during the previous five days) fell from 805,1000 to 747,700 over the year.

What's to love about CanWest?

1. How about the fact that they kiss so much right wing ass that even Karl Rove would say 'Whoa, slow down, solider!'

2. Centralizing articles from a 'CanWest news service'. Rather than actual investigative reporting, we get a bunch of vanilla articles written by faceless writers in Hamilton. Where is the local content?

3. The obsession with cars and housing. Huge chunks of the paper are simply devoted to housing and new cars (DRIVING and DRIVING 2, wtf?). Since when are newspapers supposed to be shilling for these two industries? I buy a newspaper to read NEWS. If I need car information, I'll buy Auto Trader or some such magazine.

4. To that add, don't expect a whole lot of actual news content. Like many papers that don't see the light, corporate papers tend to focus more on 'infotainment' than news ... so we get meaningless news about celebrities and stuff that really doesn't matter, rather than actual news about stuff that affects our lives. We don't need this soft-serve BS.

5. How many of you BCers have read much about the Basi-Kirk trial? Probably very few. The BC gov't is involved in organized crime, drugs, and other illicit activities relating to the sell off of BC Rail, but the two CanWest dailies never touch the story. Why? because, it would hurt their right wing asshole pals.

HAHAHAHA!!!

My poor girlfriend still pays and reads this junk. The only good thing about these CanWest papers are the comics. Even the sports coverage sucks, and is polluted with far too much Tony Gallagher for any reasonable fan to bear.

A man from India comes to Canada with a forged passport, and then suffers a stroke, costing our taxpayers hundreds of thousands in medical expenses.

Instead of booting the guy back to India, the Canadian civil servants, who haven't done an honest day's work in their entire lives, just keep letting the guy stay in the country, rather than ship him out on the first plane back to Mumbai.

Look, his time is up, he's lost his appeals, and he has no right to keep sucking up our resources. If there are people putting up a fight, get out the nightsticks, tasers, and pepper spray. Let them pay for obstructing justice.

To the Indian/Sikh community that supports this asshole, stop being a bunch of racist morons. Really, would you be this supportive of a Polish or Spanish immigrant who pulled the same stunt? Of course not. You only care because this guy is 'one of you', and want to stick it to the evil white man.

The fact that there is a protest group called "No One Is Illegal" speaks greatly to how far we've allowed ourselves to be pushed in the sake of political correctness.

So, we should just allow anyone into the country at any time? Great, let's flood our cities with 50 million people from all over the world, and have a whole bunch of chaos. Let's let everyone move in and freeload off of the taxes we pay without having to go through the same system (y)our ancestors had to. Really, if I were part of the Indian community, I'd be pissed that this guy got in the back door and weaseled his way into the country to freeload for hospital care.

Morons.

Seriously, somebody just bomb Yaletown, Point Grey, and Surrey.

Labels: rants, Vancouver Sucks

by Jes

Some fans in arenas across North American like to have a little fun with the national anthems as they are being sung. Dallas Stars' fans yell "STARS" during the American anthem, for example.

Well, apparently Washington Capitals' fans are having a little fun during the national anthem, and now the jingoistic prudes are getting all whiny about it.

Right here in our nation's capital, of all places, some people have a problem with the national anthem.

It's not with the melody and certainly not the meaning, but when the anthem singer at a local sports event gets to the line, "O, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave." For years now, some fans have been yelling "O!" adding the original exclamation point as Francis Scott Key wrote it and shouting with gusto and fervor.

O, how this practice irks other fans.

"It's something that's been bugging me for a long time," said Mike Rucki, a longtime Washington Capitals fan and co-founder of OnFrozenBlog.com, a hockey Web site that provides a forum for those of a similar mind. "Just because it's a tradition doesn't mean it's a good tradition."

Boo-frickin-hoo! I hope Mike Rucki gets his nose bitten by a bald eagle. Just because this fellow hasn't been laid in 14 years doesn't mean he has to get all up in our faces.

Tell me, again, why we North Americans bother with this national anthem nonsense before sporting events?

Do you sing the national anthem before office meetings, while standing at a bus stop, buying a latte from Starbucks, or waxing your carrot? NO! So, why is it normal practice to do national anthems before sporting events.

Hey, I'm there to watch men (or sometimes women) play sports. I'm not there to do a bad sing-a-long or pretend that I'm feeling all patriotic prior to a Canucks/Avalanche game. Really, if I want to listen to music, I'll buy tickets to a concert, or turn up my mp3 player. Get the game on already!

Riddle me this ... Do the Canucks really represent Canada? Are the Avs really American? Kinda hard to think of the Avs as representing the USoA when their stars are Slovak, Czech, and Canadian. Similarly, the Canucks are pretty hefty on the Swedes.

Disrespecting an anthem? It's a song! Anyone who ties a song closely with a country and their own personal feelings is just anal retentive. These are the same people who treat the flag as a symbol of holy worship, and think their whole identity is tied up in the country they happened to be born in. A song is an artistic expression, and open to individual interpretation. Travel back in time to the 1950's if you are interested in being a slave to the state.

Booing the anthem or swearing during the anthem ... those things are crass. Shouting "STARS!" en-masse is not. Tacky, maybe, but not crass.

Labels: National Anthems, rants

by Jes

Normally, concepts and ideas from Europe (such as legalized prostitution, no-touch icing, not going ape-crap over half of an exposed nipple) show how behind-the-times and small-minded North Americans really are.

There are exceptions, however, to every rule, especially when it comes to hockey.

Anyone who has ever seen some semblance of European hockey knows that the entire experience is littered with advertising. It's not enough that the boards and ice surface likes look a NASCAR car, but the players' sweaters, themselves, make the players into skating billboards.

Instead of prominently feature a team logo, you get sweaters covered in enough advertising to make you sick. Hell, some Euroclubs are even named after a team sponsor (such as Chemopetrol Litvinov, HC MOUNTFIELD (Ceske Budejovice), and HC Energie Karlovy Vary.

Given how much advertising we're subjected to already, do NHL fans really want MORE of that crap?

The one 'sacred' aspect of the NHL, compared to Europe, is that the players' uniforms have remained relatively logo free. Sure, there has been logo creep on the sweaters, but we'll accept a logo on a piece of equipment that belongs to the maker of said product.

I always liked that I could look, or wear, an NHL uniform and have it all about the team colours, design, and logo. NHL uniforms are fairly clean and crisp, and are the one bit of freedom we have from the corporate messaging we are submitted to every minute of every game.

Unfortunately, greed tends to prevail in this society, and now we have NHL goaltenders clamouring to sell themselves as corporate shills.

A group of influential NHLers is asking the league and the players' union to consider placing corporate logos on jerseys as a way to generate new revenues, according to a Toronto Star report published yesterday.

The group which includes New Jersey's Martin Brodeur, Dallas's Marty Turco, Detroit's Dominik Hasek and Edmonton's Dwayne Roloson is proposing the creation of a Goaltender's Club.

The idea is to sell space for ads on the jerseys of the league's netminders.

Hockey marketer Brad Robins and Edmonton player agent Ritch Winter are working with the players and they estimate on-uniform ads could generate upwards of $30 million a season for the NHL.

"This is the wave of the future," Winter told the Star. "The NHL isn't as profitable as other leagues, and we have very little choice but to pursue new ways to create revenue so we can reinvest in our sport. It's just a way to pay the bills."

Do these idiots not make enough money as it is? Do they really have no shame in slapping on some generic corporate logos onto their clothing to make a few extra bucks?

Oh, cue the rich quote from Dwayne Roloson.

Roloson shrugs off the prospect of criticism from traditionalists.

"I think it's a great way to grow (hockey-related revenue)," he told the Star. "They have (uniform ads) in Europe and it doesn't take away from the true jersey look."

Doesn't take away from the true jersey look?? O.... K....

If this should ever pass, I suggest every NHL fan boo the living hell out of these empty souls and endeavour to put their fanship into goaltenders who don't submit themselves to the will of corporate assholes. It's pretty sad that these boys, who are already well-off, would feel the need to pimp themselves out as propaganda whores to the highest bidder.

Labels: advertisements, european hockey, marketing, NHL, rants

by Jes

Yes, I do watch the Super Bore, if only because nothing else better is on while I do some of my emailing/Scrabulous/homework, and because I like to bitch about pop culture.


Besides, I need something to take my mind off of the Canucks' total suckage as of late. Losing to crap teams and constant injuries leave the Canucks dangerously close to missing the playoffs. *sigh*

I am rooting for the Patriots, in as much as I can in a "I don't really have a dog in this fight" kind of way. I'd love to see them have the PERFECT season, shut up those old Dolphins, and let us witness something rare and incredible. That, and Tom Brady is dreamy.

Us Canadians don't get to see those 'cool' commercials. Yes, our Canadian channels play Canadian commercials. Companies don't even bother trying, and we see the same 10 commercials throughout the whole game. It makes me want to skin a beaver.

Those 'cool' commercials aren't usually that great. A couple of winners, and a whole lot of losers. If you are a college frat boy with an IQ of 55, you'll like the commercials. For the rest of us, we'll forget them 3 seconds after we see them.

In an unrelated note, I was saddened to see Brock Lesnar lose his UFC debut. I think he might have that fight in the bag, but he made a very bad rookie mistake. I hope this doesn't stop him from trying again. Brock just needs to earn his stripes and get some actual in-ring experience.

I'll always be scarred from the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Not that seeing a human breast freaks me out like those Fundamentalist assholes in the US of A, but Janet Jackson's 'breast' is something you'd expect as a villain in a horror movie. That, and Janet Jackson's waxy face makes me want to have a bulemic discharge.

Super Bore Sunday means little hockey news.

The great thing about tomorrow? No NFL for months!!! Sure, you'll hear about the commercials for a day or two, but then we can go back to not caring about the NFL.

Besides the betting, I still want a good explanation as to why the NFL product is worth watching. It's not like we're seeing the cheerleaders go down on each other.

Tomas Plekanec rules your world.

Worst. Song. Ever.
The Super Bowl is Gay

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Labels: rants, Super Bowl

Labels: milestone, rants, sabres, Slava Kozlov, thrashers

by Jes

Over at his blog, James Mirtle highlighted a group of the NHL's Unsung Heroes. Let's face it, guys like Greg Zanon deserve a little more appreciation. Jan Hejda? Remember, Hockey Rants highlighted this guy's mad skillz before, and you mortals still don't worship him nearly enough.

Well, as much as we love a warm and fuzzy story, I'm a much more bitter guy. I'd rather highlight the players that are making boatloads of cash and sucking eggs at the same time. Feel-bad features are more my thing, right?

So, here's a list of players that deserve to be booed, egged, and heckled.

Todd Bertuzzi, Anaheim - 13GP 1-5-6PTS -3
Do I really need to say more about this lazy ogre? He rarely breaks a sweat, routinely lets his checks go (Markus Naslund is thanking him right about now), and gets paid $4mil/season to do so.

Dustin Penner, Edmonton - 26GP 4-8-12PTS
I realize that Kevin Lowe put Penner into a position to 'fail', giving up the farm for a second-line winger who hadn't proven himself.

The problem I see is that Penner has a bit too much Bertuzzi in him, in that Penner jut cruises far too often and isn't nearly as assertive as he should be. Was less than half-a-point a game really worth all that?

Patrik Elias - 23GP 4-8-12PTS -6
I don't get it. Elias has been bad at both ends of the ice, which is very unusual for him. Combine these awful stats with a $6mil salary and you get a bad payoff on your return.

It's not like there are any positive signs, either. Elias was actually worse in November (5 points) than he was in October (7 points).

Michael Ryder - 25GP 3-7-10PTS -2
Remember when this guy used to be good? Well, last year has had a god-awful -25, but at least he put up some offense with 58 points. This season, he's doing rather BLAH at both ends of the ice, and makes enough money to buy my condo 10 times over. He's gone from core player to support player in a short time.

Miikka Kiprusoff - 25GP 10-11-3 2.96GAA 88.5SV%
It's kinda funny how Calgary gave this guy a big fat contract extension despite the fact that he's having, by far, his worst season ever. Kipper has been the weak point of the Flames this season, and doesn't get along well with coach Keenan. (then again, many players don't)

Let's face facts, people. Kiprusoff has been one of the NHL's worst #1 goalies this season, and he's getting paid some big bucks. The Flames aren't getting their money's worth.

Labels: Kiprusoff, Michael ryder, Patrik Elias, rants, Todd Bertuzzi

by Jes

Erin Nicks is a cheeky writer, and rabid hockey fan, who has panned many an interesting article for the Ottawa Sun. She definitely ranks up there for underrated writers whose work you ought to check out some time.

Her latest piece, however, made me gasp just a little ...

I'm dealing with an unprecedented case of sports indecisiveness, and it's wreaking havoc on my household.

I'm not talking about Martin Gerber vs. Ray Emery, or whether Wade Redden should stay or go. Those dilemmas are a walk in a park compared to my problem.

I can't choose between the NFL and NHL.

One rarely has to worry about displaying allegiance to a particular sport, because the majority of scheduling allows for year-round gorging with little conflict. Unfortunately, this won't be the case for the NHL, NFL and myself for the next little while. Is it possible to make a clear-cut choice? Maybe not, but a little side-by-side comparison wouldn't hurt.

League vs. League (couch viewing): It's common knowledge that of the two, the NFL translates to television far better than hockey ever could. The NHL has shown a significant number of games in high-definition over the past few years, yet HD seems commonplace for football.

Let's get something straight, Erin. The NFL brand of football is, by far, the most boring sport to watch on TV of all the Big 4, and is on par with NASCAR for actual lack of brain stimulation.

The average NFL game has 3 minutes of talking followed by 5-10 seconds of action followed by 3 more minutes of talking, players walking around, etc. Big plays are few and far between, and most 'hitting' barely registers. The fact that any Canadian would possibly choose an NFL game over ANY NHL game should be cause for lobotomization.

It doesn't matter that the NHL might not translate well to TV (which always strikes me as a cheap cop-out of an argument), because the NFL is naturally boring, and would require showing naked lesbian mud-wrestling in between huddles to be even remotely interesting to watch.

So, Erin, or anyone, can you give me one GOOD reason why anyone should ever choose to watch an NFL broadcast over an NHL game?

To Erin's husband or boyfriend (if she's got one), be a real man and take control of the remote. It's written in law that no female should ever have control of the remote unless the male tires of it. Even then, the male should only grant such privileged access if it results in either a tasty meal and/or serious nookie.

Labels: Erin Nicks, NFL, NHL, rants

After the Canucks putrid loss to the Carolina Hurricanes earlier this week, coach Alain Vigneault ripped the Canucks' top forwards for being softer than a DQ Banana Split, and only half as tasty. Markus Naslund whined, instead of taking the blame for playing like crap.

So, the Canucks go into Detroit, and decide to roll over and play dead.

*sigh*

Trust me, the 3-2 score flatters the Canucks, who were out-shot 39-15 and were basically toyed with like a cat and a laser pointer. At no point did the Wings look like they are in any danger of losing their lead, and only Luongo's goaltending gave the Canucks half a chance.

Folks, this team is hella frustrating for anyone living in this city who doesn't cheer for one of Canada's other clubs. It's not bad enough that they are 2 games under .500, but they don't work hard, don't win faceoffs, and play a very boring style of hockey.

There aren't a lot of bright spots that stand out and make you think, "Hmm, maybe they'll turn it around like they did last year," other than the continual fine play of Roberto Luongo.

Time to vent a little ...

1. Taylor Pyatt - OK, you got a nice big contract. Does that mean you have to stop working? 2 goals, 0 assists, and -3 in 10 games of invisibility. Apart from his mascara, there isn’t much to this guy. I'm sure Sabres fans will say "I told you so", but the guy was actually useful last season. *sigh*

2. Markus Naslund - A poor example of a Captain, and someone who looks like they don't want to be here. 7 points in 10 games and a -6 is not what you'd expect from someone making uber millions, nor is the lack of effort. If Markus is wearing the C, and slacking off, then he's obviously setting a bad example. Instead of rising up to Vigneault's challenge, Markus basically said "Screw this", and decided to sleepwalk. Obviously, he doesn't like Vigneault and he's going to just pout about it.

3. Aaron Miller - Nice giveaway on the 3rd Detroit goal. I don't think Tomas Holmstrom has ever had an easier goal, even in practice. Miller, all too often, looks old, decrepit, and just plain overmatched. I understand that he's getting more ice time than he should be, but wouldn't the Canucks be better off with Edler?

4. Rick Rypien - Nothing against the guy, but he blocks a shot and breaks his finger?! Guy can't get a break. Even since his promotion, he's been one of the few Canucks that looks like they care.

5. SedinBots - Wake up! You are capable of so much more.

As for Detroit, I finally saw the empty seats for myself. It looks half-empty in the place, which is VERY weird. I know the subject has been beaten before, but it wasn't that long ago where you'd be swearing at the TV because some idiot at Joe Louis Arena was standing up and blocking the (low) camera angle.

Labels: Canucks, Naslund, rants, Sedinbots, taylor pyatt

Not too long ago, the New York Rangers were a team full of high-priced superstars that lacked cohesion and a work ethic and continually missed the playoffs. Ah, those were the days.

Thanks in large part to Mark Messier's ego and need to play 18-minute a night when he was clearly outmatched, the Rangers never did collectively perform to the level of each individual player's ability added up. Lesser squads did far more with less talent, while the Rangers simply tried to fix problems by throwing more money in the fire.

After the lockout, the Rangers seemed to 'get it'. They let some of their young kids, such as Tyutin, Prucha, and Ortmeyer, get some key ice time. The Rangers used their money to sign 'smart' free agents, such as Marek Malik, and Brendan Shanahan, to fairly cheap deals. We saw the Rangers actually *gasp* make the playoffs and look like a pretty competitive team.

Then, the salary cap was raised, and suddenly the Rangers reverted back to form. We saw the Rangers sign some expensive contracts, some of the awful variety. Clearly, Glen Sather, free of some financial restraints, did not learn from his past mistakes.

Aaron Ward - $5.5mil over 2 seasons
Matt Cullen - $11.2mil for 4 seasons, and then they send him back to the Canes.
Scott Gomez - $51.5mil over 7 seasons.
Chris Drury - $35.25mil over 5 seasons.

The Rangers figured they could steal some karma from the Canes after the magical Raleigh run. While signing Ward wasn't a horrible deal, signing a 3-year line forward, as Cullen was, to that sort of deal with just nutso.

Figuring they ought to get some prime talent, instead, the Rangers spent a lot of money on a hard-to-coach playmaking centerman and a dearly overrated 2nd-line pivot, instead of re-signing Michael Nylander, a player who clearly meshed with the hard-to-please Jaromir Jagr.

The entire result of this has been a drought of African proportions. After last night's 1-0 loss to the Penguins, a team that has troubles stopping goals, the Rangers now find themselves having gone 2 games without a goal, and struggling with just 13 goals for in 8 games, by far the worst such totals in the league.

Yes, the Rangers can't even get 2 goals a game, despite having more talent, up front, than many other teams.

Let's assess the damage
Jaromir Jagr: 8GP 1-7-8
Chris Drury: 8GP 1-5-6
Scott Gomez: 8GP 2-1-3 (just 1 assist?)
Martin Straka: 7GP 2-1-3
Brendan Shanahan: 8GP 1-1-2 (WTF?)
Petr Prucha: 8GP 1-0-1

So, despite the fact that evil Swede Henrik Lundqvist is doing a great job in the nets (92.7SV%), the Rangers are 2-5-1 and generate just 21 shots on goal per game.

If I had to theorize as to what is wrong with the Rangers, it appears that they have a lot of finesse and little grit on their scoring lines. Clearly, there are a lot of egos to be stroked and few are willing to pay the physical price to get 'er done.

One weird stat that pops out is that Shanahan has 50 shots on goal in his 8 games, so he's clearly getting his chances. Of all of the players that should bounce back, he ought to be the one.

Labels: Brendan Shanahan, Glen Sather, Jaromir Jagr, Messier, Petr Prucha, Rangers, rants

by Jes

A bunch of randomness on a sunny June day (rare in Vancouver)

No surprise: Canada won't get another team!
It seems the NHL has found a way to screw Canada, again, and give a team to KC.

How? Go over to the NHL Fanhouse and read Greg Wyshynski's take on the fiasco.

Too bad, Hamilton :(

Another reason why ESPN sucks more than Nikki Benz: Sidney Crosby was NOT considered for Male Athlete of the Year!

Yeah...the kid is the youngest captain in NHL history, sweeps the big awards, and doesn't get a nomination? Typical ESPN bullshit.

Notice how ESPN doesn't actually stand for anything? The S is not for Sports, that is for sure.

The NHLPA enlisted the help of MLBPA boss Don Fehr. You know the NHL must be collecting its collective pants about this.

Let's face it, even with the turmoil the PA has been in, they are getting the better end of this new CBA. When you have idiot GMs like Kevin Lowe proclaiming their intentions to overpay the likes of Scott Gomez, it's pretty much the same as it ever was with the NHL. As long as NHL teams continue to hire former players over real business managers, the PA will always win.

The CHL held its Import Draft yesterday.

Name of the day? Michal Jordan. A Czech guy with a very precarious name.

The Giants picked Josef Tichy, who is 6'6" 230lbs of Czech beefcake.

My pal, Michal, wrote me an email on the guy

Vancouver Giants make a great choice to select Josef Tichy in CHL import draft - he is one of the best dmen in Czech junior extraleague. I hope they won't bring him over there, as he is a cornerstone of our defence :] Too many Czechs were selected in import draft, 33 players is hurting our U18 team, which already relegated from A group. Blame Ruzicka and his Slavia boys (9 kids from Slavia in relegated team.)

Josef is big guy with good offensive skills, kind of Pavel Kubina... He will probably play on U20 WJC, if things will go well.

One jealous Oilers blogger asked me about Milan Kytnar, the Slovak they drafted.
Suffice it to say, I don't know a whole lot about him, and my expert in Slovakia isn't exactly getting A's in Kytnar Social Studies.

Yes, I don't know everything about all Slovaks *Gasp*
Here is his Hockey's Future profile

Photo of the Day: Jordin Tootoo in the TubTub

Labels: Import Draft, Jordin Tootoo, musings, NHLPA, rants, sidney crosby

by Jes

We're used to non-hockey mediots taking potshots at the great sport of hockey. (Remember THIS ESPN Cartoon?)

It's like a bee sting, really. We can handle one or two of these jabs, but after about 1,000, it really gets annoying.

So, I decided to go on a rant over at The NHL Fanhouse and rail against the idiots in the media who seems to do nothing but talk smack about our great sport.

It's pretty much a taste of their own medicine.

Really, I just don't get why many feel the need to talk down about the NHL and its fans. So what if the NHL doesn't get NFL-like TV ratings? Popularity doesn't equal quality. How else can you explain the success of dreck like American Idol and Survivor?

Anyway, head on over there and be sure to go join in the fray. I need backup against the NASCAR fans.

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The New York Islanders bit the big bullet and bought out the remainder of Alexei Yashin's bloated contract.

The damage?

Under the terms of the NHL collective-bargaining agreement, the Islanders can pay two-thirds of that amount - approximately $17.63-million - over the next eight years to buy him out. The team will still count $2.2-million of Yashin's salary under their cap over that same time period.

This is definitely the right move for the Islanders, but also one I never expected them to make quite this early.

Do you think the Isles are thrilled at paying Yashin huge bucks to NOT play for them? Imagine paying a contractor $125,000 not to build your house.

Then again, given how Yashin plays, haven't the Islanders been paying him bucks to not play for them all this time?

Of course, Yashin is now guaranteed a whole whack of money, and now he can go sign with another club and make even more.

Note to NHL teams: Don't bite! If your offer is over $3.5mil a year, then smack yourself with a bronze ruler.

Big Mac has more opinion on the matter at Ze Fanhouse..

Labels: alexei yashin, Islanders, mainstream mediots, rants

by Jes

Oooh, yer such a gangster!

OK, so Chris Pronger did get the star treatment and was suspended for a whopping ONE GAME for his shot to Dean McAmmond's noggin.

What better way to send a clear and decisive message to the rest of the league than a one game suspension for a repeat offender. *eyeroll*

The Ducks are crying poor. Anyone surprised?

In the 'WTF' files, Eric over at The Fanhouse uncovers the fact that Al-Jazeera, the mouthpiece of terrorism disguised as a legitimate news network, actually applied for NHL press credentials.

ORLY? 0.o

Many US newspapers don't bother sending some schlep to cover the Finals, but Al-Jazeera wants to?

This is most likely the network attempting to gain a 'legitimate' status by covering different events in North America.

Thankfully, the NHL realized it was more trouble than it was worth and said 'NO'

Really, does the NHL really benefit from having 3 Iranian guys and their 21 wives watching Daniel Alfredsson give away the puck for the third time in one game?

---

WAYNE'S WORLD!!!

Our favourite hockey fan from Alabama shares his thoughts on Game Three:

Did anyone see Don Cherry's wardrobe on Saturday night??? (NBC aired a still picture of it.) I can't any sane man (hetero or gay) would ever be caught wearing that...The ultimate definition of a "wardrobe malfunction"...Worst. Jacket. Ever. Grapes should change his nickname to "Drapes"...

I'd think Kris Draper has that copyright.

It's funny to see how American fans are reacting to Donald S. Cherry.

Up here? We're so used to his loud suits and personality that it's more shocking when he wears something that doesn't scream "I NEED ATTENTION"

At least Don has some personality. In a sea of boring and generic suits, Don shows that he doesn't give a rat's ass about high fashion.

According to an article in the Toronto Star, NBC got a 1.5 in the overnights for Saturday's game 3...But, hey, they're not paying rights fees, are they?

Well, if the Yanks don't appreciate our game, then it is their own damn fault.

If you guys really want to watch NASCAR, NFL and poker, then knock yourself out.

Finally, the Ducks just can't get no love...The Quacks make the final, and what is the leading sports story in L.A.? Kobe just can't make up his damn mind where he wants to play next season...

Well, from my previous trips to the US of A, I can pretty much shrug and say "Isn't it always like that?"

The Rangers could win the Stanley Cup, and the NY Times would have a front page story on what colour Alex Rodriguez is now using for his lipstick.

Labels: Al-Jazeera, ducks, rants, Wayne's World

by Jes

I know I'm not the only Canucks fan in a complete panic now, given how the Canucks score less than Bill Gates during his Harvard years.

OH!!

This team is choosing the worst time to be an offensive black hole. No goals in two games??? Ugh... I post some of the nasty stats over at The NHL Fanhouse.

My girlfriend, too, is sharing my pain. Here are her thoughts:

---

Well, this series is an exercise in frustration. Often it seems like the Canucks have gotten used to the idea of getting a goal at the last minute (just how many one-goal wins have we seen with the winning goal scored in the dying minutes of the third or in OT?), so seem to spend great periods of time just meandering around on the ice like a bunch of zombies. Only Luongo seems to be alive out there for the Canucks side, but being a goalie, we can't expect him to stand on his head and score goals too.

Will someone FREAKING score already? The Sedins have been shut down and didn't even register a SHOT in the sixth game. So why isn't someone standing up, getting their butt in front of Marty Turkey and and at least making his saves harder? It isn't hard to figure out people!

Anyways... this team wasn't even expected to make the playoffs this year, much less be the divisional leader and take the Cup. But now that we have had a taste of a good Canucks team in the latter half of the year, we wanna CUP! And we don't want to see these pre-Christmas idiots anymore.

---

I'm not the only one in whine mode...

Alluring Alanah over at Canucks and Beyond:

It is NOT okay. From the time the puck dropped, that was a team full of so much disinterest, aside from a couple players (Luongo, Burrows...? someone else maybe? oh, who cares… Burrows comes to mind because he hit someone, and I approve; and Luongo was, well, Luongo) that it’s surprising the crowd didn’t start throwing vegetables at them.

Zanstorm at Waiting for Stanley:

Vancouver stabbed themselves in the foot early in the game by taking 2 consecutive penalties, allowing Dallas to score a PP goal (Modano) with the 2-man advantage. Mattias Ohlund coughed the puck up in the 3rd leading to a Jeff Halpern killer goal.

Chalk it up as an off night for Vancouver. An off-night that may cost them the series.

For now, we can console ourselves with the fact that we still have home-ice advantage, and that you KNOW the Canucks will come out better in Game 7. They have to. As well, there is a small chance that both Sergei Zubov and Brendan Morrow may not play in Game 7. God, that would be sweet.
What is concerning me is that it seems like an eternity since they scored their last goal. It seems that none of the lines are clicking, due mostly to the fact that Dallas is shutting them down.

Labels: Canucks, playoffs, rants, Sedinbots

by Jes

The fun has really started over at the NHL Fanhouse, with JP coming out of the closet as a Sean Avery fan. It seems more and more of these Avery lovers are coming out of the woodwork.

Sean F’in AVERY?

Sure, I’m an open-minded fellow... different strokes for different folks and all that, but have some frickin’ standards, would ya? Yes, I *would* kick Paris Hilton out of my bed if she ever leaped onto it. I prefer my crabs on a plate with some butter, green beans and potatoes, kthx.

Yeah, I not afraid to admit that I HATE SEAN AVERY, with a frickin' passion!

Sure, there are garden-variety reasons to hate the guy: His racist and ignorant comments, his cockiness, his cheap shots, his two-faced personality, his annoying smirk, and his bagging of Hollywood hotties. That's just part of the equation, however.

Why can't I stand the guy? Because, he just does not EVER ... SHUT ... THE ... HELL ... UP!

Any time I think of Avery, I go back to a Kings/Canucks game I attended at GM Place last season. Avery was at the end of the bench, talking non-stop to the officials, ice girls, opposing players, teammates, the water bottles, camera crew, etc ... blah blah blah blah blah! You could tell that his own teammates wanted nothing to do with the guy, and all that was missing was a mirror for Avery to admire himself with.

How can any sane person not want Sean Avery to get smashed in the face by a Zdeno Chara elbow?

I'm sorry, but I cannot stand people who love the sound of their own voice and feel the need to talk non-stop. Knowing Avery's level of intelligence, it would only add to the annoyance factor to hear his drivel 9 out of every 10 seconds of the night.

There is a reason why a majority of NHLers picked Sean Avery as the most hated among their peers, and I'm sure many of them were his former and current teammates. I know that if I were ever on the same team as Avery, I'd end up going postal on the guy during a practice, and send him to the hospital with a third grade concussion.

You know it as well as I do, Avery was the cocky prick who bullied you at high school and dated all the hot chicks you fantasized about.

That said, it's great to have the guy in the league. Every story needs a good villain, right? It will be lot more satisfying to see the Rangers choke in the playoffs (and they will) with Avery on the team.

(Cross-posted to the NHL Fanhouse)

Labels: Avery, Rangers, rants, villains

by Jes

Perhaps we should call it 'uncommon sense', since most people don't seem to possess common sense.

Yes, the NHL, once again, did the WRONG thing and rejected a 3-point system for games.

As it stands right now, not every NHL game is equal. Some games give 2 points to a clear-cut winner, while others give out 3 points (2 to the OT/SO winner and the other to the loser).

It seems like a simple problem to fix...
3 points for a regulation win
2 points for a OT/SO win
1 point for a OT loss

Voila!! Every game is worth 3 points.

Yet, the NHL GMs spout of their usual brand of krap:

"Because it's a terrible idea," Anaheim general manager Brian Burke said Wednesday as three days of GM meetings wrapped up. "That's why it didn't have any support."

Terrible idea??? This is coming from the guy who wants Power Plays to be just a minute long in OT?? C'mon Burkie, you ought to be smarter than this!

Colin Campbell, the NHL's director of hockey operations, says the game needs a breather from the constant change.

"It's time to establish continuity, you can't keep making changes," he said. "Let' s not confuse the fans."
...
Said Burke: "We made some radical changes when we came back from the work stoppage. The game is faster, the game is better, and the game is more entertaining. If something ain't broke, there's no reason to try and fix it."
...
"I think we've had too much change of late," said New Jersey Devils GM Lou Lamoriello. "It's a good game, let's enjoy it."

Oh, I see. The NHL has been going spastic with major changes (That nobody asked for) for years, and suddenly now Jean-Luc Picard says "The line must be drawn HERE!"

What a crock!

If you have something that is 'broken', you damn well fix it!!
The trapezoids?? What the hell was that for? THAT was a useless change.

Fixing the current system of standings madness is something that needs to be done, lest the NHL wants to look like the biggest joke in North Amerikan sports. YEah, the fans are just going to be SO confused. How could they ever figure out a new set of standings... trust me, fans can remember exactly how many beers they had at a Ducks/Kings back in 2003, and they can certainly learn a new set of standings (which are less confusing than the dreck they use now).

It's just amazing how the NHL has ever succeeded given the headless chickens running the operation.

---

Edit: Hockey Analysis presents a very simple, but thought-provoking analysis of the current point scheme vs. the old point scheme vs. the 3-point scheme.

Labels: bettman, Brian Burke, NHL, opinion, rants, rules

Shawn P. Roarke of NHL.com decided to go on a tirade against the league's critics, such as myself, and completely overshot on a 3-par 100-yarder gimme hole.

You would expect Roarke, a employee/shill of the NHL to dodge the real point and paint his league in the best picture, but it's amazing that he wrote a very length article about the league's stars and preface it with such negativity.

For years, I have heard hockey critics, and even some casual fans, offer their takes on why our game does not enjoy the popularity of other major professional sports.

Among the most often espoused theories is that the NHL only has a few superstars that transcend the sport itself and bleed over into the mainstream sports consciousness. The resulting anonymity of its remaining player personnel base dooms the NHL to second-tier status among the American sporting public fixated on stars.

Look at baseball, these critics say. There, stars like Roger Clemens, Albert Pujols, Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Pedro Martinez, the New York Yankees' entire lineup and Barry Bonds rule the day and carry the sport to its continued place as America’s pastime.

(snip)

Yet, the NHL has only a handful of stars to capture the fancy of the porting public, say the critics. Sure, guys like Alexander Ovechkin, Sidney Crosby and Jaromir Jagr are bold-faced names that can interest even the casual fan, the critics allow. But, after that, there is nothing to sustain the casual interest, they contend.

Well, those critics are dead wrong I say. The non-superstar argument is shortsighted, lazy and factually incorrect. The NHL, in their opinion, may not have the headline-grabbing personalities of other sports – athletes that earn as many headlines for their brash words and off-field missteps as they do for their athletic brilliance – but the NHL player can hold its own with any other sport when it comes providing performances worthy of a customers hard-earned money and valuable time and emotional involvement.

One of the most espoused theories? Hands up if "Lack of Superstars" is anywhere near the top of your list?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Instead of bringing up the REAL issues facing the league, Roarke tries to take a softball argument against the NHL's lack of popularity and beat it to death. It's like saying the War in Iraq has been a success because Saddam Hussein is out of power. Yes, it's true, but it doesn't mask the fact that there are 1,000 other, bigger, problems.

How about pointing out those REAL issues that have held back the NHL from generating popularity masking the NFL/MLB/NBA/NASCAR the next time you decide to talk down to us unwashed masses?

(On a separate note, who cares if the NHL is as popular as the boring sports?)

1. Marketing - The league has many great stars, but has always done a poor job marking those stars. Last year's generic gladiator ads highlighted this point. Britney Spears-type muzak succeeds with great marketing, despite the lack of any real talent.

2. Cultural - Let's face it, most fans can't take to ice hockey because they've never played it and it hasn't been part of their culture. Not many southern US cities have a whole lot of hockey rinks and young kids don't grow up playing ice hockey or road hockey like they do here in Canada.

3. Lowering the level of violence - Less fighting has had a definite effect on NHL's popularity as shown elsewhere. Americans love violence, and the NHL is retreating from that. Why?

4. Ticket prices - The NHL is much more expensive than the average MLB, NBA, and NASCAR ticket. You can go to the other sports and get cheap tickets. It's very hard to get a cheap ticket to many NHL rinks. You see how the Blues made a stupid move to increase prices despite a crappy team and it bombed on them.

Etc etc etc... suffice it to say, Roarke wasted a lot of time by highlighting an issue that really isn't a factor in league popularity. Thanks, NHL.com, but we don't need your propaganda shoved up our ass like this. We're not quite that stupid.

PS: Duvie Westcott? Yeah, he's a real marketable superstar.

Labels: marketing, NHL.com, rants