by Jes

Mediot of the Day: Michael Platt.

If you happen to be cheering for the road team at any NHL arena, it's not the best idea to get all lippy and annoying (although that doesn't stop the large mobs of Leafs and Habs fans from doing so). Given how much alcohol is consumed at sporting events, and how alpha male jackoffs allow their emotions to control their actions, it's best just to exercise some restraint when cheering on your team in another team's barn.

Still, there is no excuse for what happened in Calgary, as a bunch of drunken Flames fans took to beating an Oilers fan for being a little 'loud'.

With a broken nose and fractured cheek, Andrew Parker has learned a painful lesson about what can happen if you mouth off to strangers after a few beers.

Parker says he was walking near 18 Ave. and 4 St. S.W. early Sunday morning, still wearing his Oilers jersey, when a group of men in a nearby car started glaring at him.

Seeing their Flames' sweaters, and with a half-dozen bottles of malted courage in his system, 22-year-old Parker did something he now regrets: He yelled at the glowering men, saying something like, "How about those Flames."

The men took exception, got out of their car and gave Parker a good kicking, to borrow a phrase often used in Britain.

Is THAT really worth a beating? I supposed he said something a bit nastier. Still, nothing like that ever deserves a cowardly mob beatdown.

What irks me about this whole thing is the apologetic writing of this Michael Platt character, who seems to remind me of that macho sports jock that talks tough, but got his ass kicked around a lot in high school.

Witness the following crap he writes. Keep in mind that this is a major newspaper, and not some fan blog or rinky-dinky free paper.

But Parker's beating at the hands of a few cowardly yobs shouldn't be a collective black eye for Calgary, nor should it be misconstrued as a case of hockey fans turned hooligans at the sight of another team's colours.

Make that "alleged" beating, because we only have Parker's side of the story, so far. Police are working on the rest.


Oh, since he's an Oilers fan, he must be lying. Right.

But Calgary shouldn't think for a minute we are in danger of borrowing the British motive for such violence -- namely, one group of sports fans targeting another, for no reason other than wearing the wrong colours.

Parker was not targeted simply for wearing an Oilers jersey.

The Oilers jersey got him noticed, but Parker's mouth got him into trouble.

O RLY? Do you think these men would have stopped the car, got out of the car, and administered said beating if the guy wasn't a noticeable Oilers fan wearing Oilers colours? Gimme a break.

So, dude spends the whole column defending Calgary for the actions of these thugs, and basically expects someone should expect a beating any time they show their team's colours.

Now, do I believe Calgary is a bad place to watch hockey simply because of this incident? No, there are 100s of other, more important, reasons to dislike Calgary.

Sheesh.

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The NHLPA, in a bid to make more money for its alumni, has come out with a series of wines with the likeness of legendary players. Hmm.

The NHL Alumni Association has rolled out a Signature Wine Series, a 12-bottle collection -- six Chardonnays, six Cabernet Sauvignons -- featuring the likeness of some of hockey's greatest players.

In Chicago, the two wines, produced by Ironstone Vineyards of Murphys, Calif., are Bobby Hull's "Golden Jet" 2007 Chardonnay and Tony Esposito's "Tony O" 2005 Cabernet. The wines are sold at Binny's and in the United Center's restaurants and suites.

Given Hull's problems with alcoholism, was it really wise to give him a wine to endorse?

I can imagine the Bobby Hull wine has a hell of a kick, and will get your seriously drunk. Best drunk in a big shot glass. Try not to fight with your children, afterwards.

Tony Esposito? A solid red wine, but you will be 'shut out' when the ladies see you drinking this.

How about a Phil Esposito wine? In remembrance of his tendency to take shifts that were 1-2 minutes too long, this hearty red wine has a serious long aftertaste that takes away from its delicious flavour.

Bobby Orr? A very limited edition white wine that is superior to all other wines, but very hard to find as it was only made for a brief period in the 70s. The red version from the late 70s is disgusting, and should have never been made.

How about a Ron DuGuay white wine? This is great for getting ladies drunk and loosened up. It worked on Cher!

Labels: Flames, marketing, off-ice silliness, oilers

Labels: injuries, oilers, Raffi Torres

by Jes

By now, you will know that Edmonton Oilers forward Fernando Pisani will be out indefitinitely after a sudden announcement that will he was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (UC).

Oilers General Manager Kevin Lowe had the following comment. “We are very concerned about Fernando’s medical condition and we wish him nothing but a full and healthy recovery. Hockey will be secondary until he gets the care and treatment required. As a result, the Oilers will move into our training camp and pre-season and not have Fernando available for our lineup. I know the Edmonton Investors Group and all Oilers fans hope to see him recover quickly and be an active player with our team as soon as possible.”

Pisani commented on the situation, and said “I would like to thank everyone who has supported me through this difficult time, especially my wife and family. I appreciate all the wonderful words of encouragement I have received, including messages from my teammates. I look forward to returning to the Oilers.”

Mirtle does some digging and finds out that Pisani had a history of problems in the nether regions, and it has built up to this. Fernando's condition is definitely serious, and not something to make light of.

Despite the fact that I'm a joke-making jerk, I will resist the urge to point out his shitty Pisani's situation is.

Why?

Because, I *may* have the same condition.

Yeah, I'll be going into the hospital next week to find out what exactly I have, and I hope it's just a simple infection, rather than something much more serious.

Yes, it's certainly a 'crappy' condition to have, being otherwise healthy, but unable to do what you always want to because of 'down there'. It's just not something one can control very easily, either, nor can you simply 'play through the pain'

*ahem*

Life just gets shitter and shitter for Oilers fans, doesn't it? *yuk yuk*

Labels: Fernando Pisani, oilers

by Jes


Well, well, well!! It looks like the Oilers finally caught a big fish in the old free agent pond.
Was it the superbly produced DVD that boasted about how 'great' Edmonton a city is to play in?? Not bloody likely.

Let's face it, Souray and his agent greatly overestimated the market for the big lug's services, and the Oilers were just so desperate to land a big free agent that there were more than willing to overspend.

The damage? $27mil over 5 seasons. OUCH!

Now, normally signing a defenseman that just scored 26 goals and 64 points last season would be cause to crack open a bottle of Cristal. However, Souray is not "normal". How many offensive-minded defensemen are bit oafs?

Before last season, Souray's career high in points was 39. Can you say 'outlier', kiddies?

48 of 64 of Souray's points last season came on the Power Play (wow!), and he's a big, slow, lumbering dough-head.

As Big Mac mentions over at NHL FanHouse:

The knock on Souray this offseason has been pretty simple: Despite setting an NHL record for power play goals by a defenseman, his game is a tad one dimensional -- something that was easy to see as he posted a -28, 135 penalty minutes (third highest in the league among defensemen) and seven cross-checking penalties (most in the NHL) along with all those goals

A tad one-dimensional? Souray is the kind of defenseman that is always looking for big hits, and putting himself out of position to do so. Bad penalties and bad positioning = one overrated d-man.

Yes, one team was bound to take the bait and Edmonton was it. Take Souray's Power Play goodness out of the equation, and you have a big pylon (albeit a dreamy pylon with model good looks).

Souray is also 31, and is only going to get slower than he already is. Just wait until the later part of this contract, when he'll have trouble keeping up with the likes of Derek Boogaard.

I'd imagine Oilers fans are pretty pleased, given how badly the summer has gone for them.

As for the Habs, they spent $5.5mil a season on Roman Hamrlik. If I was a Habs fan, I'd be a bit pissed that my team ended up with a non-descript 2nd line defenseman, rather than the Blaster Master at around the same price tag.

Labels: Free Agent Signings, oilers, Sheldon Souray

by Jes

This off-season just continues to get worse for the Oilers.
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The Columbus Blue Jackets have signed defenseman Jan Hejda to a two-year contract, club General Manager Scott Howson announced today. As is club policy, terms were not disclosed.

Hejda, 29, tallied one goal and eight assists for nine points, 20 penalty minutes and averaged 20:23 of ice time in 39 games with the Edmonton Oilers during the 2006-07 season, which was his first in North America. He also appeared in five games with Hamilton of the American Hockey League, collecting 0-3-3 and 21 penalty minutes.
---

Remember, that ONE goal was a big one.

Labels: blue jackets, Hejda, oilers

by Jes

What is it with the Canucks playing poorly against lower echelon teams? The Canucks continued sucktitude against the St. Louis Blues is just boggling, to say the least.

Last night's 3-1 loss was another fine example of the Canucks apparently not taking a lesser opponent seriously. Where was the fire, brimstone, and enthusiasm?

Brent Sopel - Had a pretty shaky debut defensively. He seemed to be a step behind his check and I hope it was just a bit of nerves in a new situation.

Smoke and Mirrors - He was alright. He worked hard and seemed to show some decent amount of skill. I think him and Markus Naslund could do more damage together if they weren't stuck with Jan Useless all game. :(

Alex Burrows - I think he needs to be scratched. He's an offensive zero and hasn't been nearly as disciplined as he should. I like his work ethic, but this shouldn't make him bulletproof from the press box. The Canucks need some goals, and Burrows is a negative offensive producer.

---

I am sometimes guilty of not keeping close enough tabs on the (l)Eastern Conference, so I was a bit taken aback to see the New York Rangers a whole 7 points out of the playoffs. I didn't figure they were doing so poorly.

Then again, check out their top 6 d-men sans Aaron Ward...
Michal Rozsival, Karel Rachunek, Fedor Tyutin, Marek Malik, Thomas Pock, and Daniel Girardi.

Enough said!

Now, I've seen a few tidbits that Ward was dealt because of apparently in-fighting with Herr Jagr.

From The Hockey Rodent:

The most popular question today is whether Aaron Ward was exiled from MSG by edict of Jaromir Jagr and just who is it who's running this team?

I admit to having an unbalanced perspective on this given that my sole source lives on the other side of the Atlantic Puddle. But word in Prague is that Jagr accepted the context of things said on the bench during the heat of a competitive moment against Tampa and JJ did not hold any grudge against Ward. Jaromir claims to respect players who are as intense about winning as he wishes them to be.

The bitterness appeared to be more harbored by Ward over issues with the team captain. Whether those objections Ward has were justified or not... JJ was disappointed with how Ward handled subsequent exchanges with the press over what went on February 9. If either antagonist was pushing for a trade, it may well have been the defenseman wanting out of what he perceived to be an uncomfortable situation in the Gotham locker room.

This wouldn't be the first time, nor the last, that a teammate has ended up having problems with Jaromir and his attitude.

---

Reaction from Oilers fans re: Ryan Smyth

I don’t exactly feel sorry for Oilers fans (and who would?), but I know exactly how they feel. Canucks fans had the exact same feeling when Mike Keenan traded Trevor Linden to the Islanders years ago. Sure, the Canucks got the better end of that bargain, but the trade still hurt a whole lot. Few players have ever had the connection to a city like Linden did with the Canucks.

On the other hand, Ryan Smyth is demanding more money than he is really worth, and his agent is Don Meehan, who is basically the Scott Boras of hockey agents. Given Smyth's age and playing style, he's not the guy to give a huge long-term deal to. Remember John "Chocolate" LeClair?

Covered in Oil:

today's deal is clearly a case of throwing the 30-goal scoring golden baby out with the bath water. I wouldn't call Lowe cheap (how else can you explain the loyalty contracts to Staios or Pisani?) but we're talking a difference of a million dollars: a couple of Toby Petersons, really.

This is Ryan Smyth. The man, who, for the record [tears of pure oil welling up in my eye], I've always felt was a much more important player to the Oilers than Mark Messier.

He was our last shot at a real Stevie Y type: a true blue Oiler with a special failure of imagination to think of playing anywhere else. At one time, I thought things like institutional memory were important, that we weren't just cheering for laundry, the idea that teams could have distinct identities that could span decades.

But alas, the salary cap era has only made players even more expendable. I'm under no illusion that hockey isn't a business, but it's an increasingly cap-fixated, mercenary one, which totally sucks, especially today.

If I close my eyes, I can see Ryan Smyth's ferrety face; his slinky, durable body slipping past a check on the boards; and of course, that small pile of blood and teeth left on the ice during the 2006 playoffs.

Battle of Alberta:

In that sense, it's extremely unlikely that the organization will be haunted by this move. However, if you sense my nodding approval, you are incorrect, as this is precisely my criticism of Lowe. I actually laughed out loud this afternoon when I heard Flames radio guy Rob Kerr say that this took cojones by Kevin Lowe. No. This is the common thread through virtually every move (or, not trivially, non-move) that Kevin Lowe makes.

mc79hockey:

I honestly don’t know what to say right now but I’ll try and spit out a few things. Eight months removed from nearly winning their sixth stanley cup the Edmonton Oilers traded the face of their franchise for yet another first round pick, that makes three first rounder’s in total in the less then stellar ‘07 crop, a kid who impresses no one in Robert Nilsson and a 19 year old kid pivot in Ryan O’Marra.

There were more than just a few reasons why most people thought Lowe would never deal Smyth. Reasons like optics first and foremost given just how bad things looked in Edm this past summer when Chris Pronger was dealt. But there was an excuse there given that Pronger demanded a trade. Granted the return seems worse by the game and Lowe would’ve been better off making Pronger take a seat but at least he had an excuse for that horrible deal.

No excuses this time. Lowe f**ked up. Large

Ramen to that!

Labels: Aaron Ward, blues, Brent Sopel, Canucks, Jagr, musings, oilers, Rangers, Ryan Smyth

Isn't love grand?


Rachel Hunter and Jarret Stoll, trying to break the Alexei Yashin/Carol Alt record for largest relationship age gap in the NHL.
Talk about dating someone out of your time zone!

Labels: gossip, oilers, rachel hunter, stoll

As if Mark Messier's ego wasn't massive enough as it is, along comes another stroking.

From TSN.ca:

The Edmonton Oilers plan to do more next month than just raise Mark Messier's No. 11 to the rafters of Rexall Place.

The NHL team and the city are planning two days of festivities to honour their favourite son.

Get ready for Moosapalooza.

"The (pre-game) ceremonies can get long and arduous as they were with Stevie Y (Steve Yzerman)" Oiler president Patrick LaForge told reporters Wednesday. Yzerman's No. 19 jersey was retired Jan. 2 in a 90-minute ceremony prior to the Detroit Red Wings' game against the Anaheim Ducks.

"There was no opportunity for fans there to reach out to Stevie, and we want to do that here and we want to do it with Mark.

"He's a native son and an Edmonton boy and he wants this."

The man known affectionately as Moose will have his number retired in a ceremony prior to the Oilers' game against the Phoenix Coyotes on Feb. 27.

The day before, thousands of fans are expected to jam the city's downtown Churchill Square to pay tribute to him.

That night, Messier and others including ex-Oilers Kevin Lowe, Glenn Anderson and Paul Coffey will swap stories on stage at the city's Winspear Centre concert hall in a $350-a-ticket charity fundraiser.

Long and arduous? Don't they recall Mark Messier's 9-hour suckfest with the Rangers? If there is anyone who has never reached out to fans, it's Mark Messier. Try getting an autograph from Mark Messier. You're more likely to win the Super 7 jackpot.

Why does this dick-headed fraud continue to get the Royal Treatment? Are Oilers fans actually dumb enough to pay $350 for this crap?

Fans jamming a downtown square? Where's a firebomb when you need one? If any of the Oilers bloggers actually attend this, I'm going to smack them around more than a few hundred times.

Seriously, this has to be a joke. Right?

Then again, the guy had a thing for black midgets.

Labels: ceremony, Messier, oilers

Congratulations to Edmonton Oilers defenseman Jan Hejda, a Hockey Rants sponsored product of Slavia Prague, who scored his first NHL goal last night.

The goal gave the Oilers a 2-1 OT victory over the LA Queens, so it was a biggie.
Now, I know cheering for an Oilers player to score is akin to admitting to fantasizing about being adopted by the Canadian Tire family, but Hejda is worth the effort.

So, here's the video of Hejda popping his goal-scoring cherry.

Labels: First NHL Goals, Hejda, oilers, video

As we saw in Part I of my look at past first round pick of the Oilers, it was the Oilers inability to get useful talent in the first round, rather than the small market economics, that really caused the Oilers franchise to turn into a sludgepool of mediocrity.

From 1984 to 1993, the Oilers drafted 12 times in the first round.
Out of those 12 players, the Oilers netted just 2 GOOD regulars (Arnott, Rucinsky), 1 fourth-line 'role player' (Wright), one fringe goon (Leroux), and 8 complete busts!

According to Simon Richard, a freelance author who has done statistical studies on the NHL draft...

33% of all first round picks since 1979 turn into regular players.
29.0% of all first round picks play less than 200 NHL games.
13.3% of all first round picks produce 'superstars'

Looking at the Oilers to date
25% of their first round picks (3 of 12) turned into 'regular' players
66.67% of their first round picks played less than 200 games. (Wow!)
and if you consider Arnott a 'superstar', then the Oilers werent 1 for 12, which is a lovely 8.3% score.

Pretty ugly numbers. Now let's look at 1994 and onward:

1994 (4th) - Jason Bonsignore, C (79GP 3-16-16 34PIM) and...
(6th) - Ryan Smyth, W (642 198-232-430 511PIM)

Talk about your night and day draft, in which the Oilers netted one of their franchise keystones and one of the biggest dissappointments in their draft history.

Both are big strapping guys, but that's what the similaries end.

Smyth: Heart of a champion, excels in heavy traffic areas, works hard to succeed. He was a great junior player and carried his team.

Bonsignore: Heart of a Tin Man, shys away from traffic, more interested in dirt bike racing. He wasn't even the best player on his team in junior, and found himself traded twice during his OHL career. He always had a habit of driving his coaches batty, and he never showed much in his brief NHL career.

The other picks in the top 6? Ed Jovanovski, Oleg Tverdovsky, Radek Bonk, and Jeff O'Neill. Typical Oiler luck that they were end up with the only bust of that bunch.

1995 (6th)- Steve Kelly, C (147 9-12-21 83PIM)

If you ever want to raise the ire of a smart Oilers fan, just mention the 1995 draft, and they'll be reduced to tears within minutes.

Picture this scene: The Oilers fans have the draft held in their hometown, their team has the 6th overall pick, and Shane Doan a local boy from nearby Halkirk, Alberta, is still available at #6.

The crowd chants "Doan, Doan, Doan, Doan!". Unlike the Calgary Flames, the Oilers don't bow to the hometown pressure. Nope...they don't pick Doan...they pick Steve frickin' Kelly!!

Barry Fraser's famous quote: "YOU CAN'T TEACH SPEED!!!"

Of course, this after years of saying "YOU CAN'T TEACH SIZE!!!"

Despite all of his SPEED(!), Steve Kelly hasn't even been able to stick in the NHL as a servicable defensive player. Shane Doan, on the other hand...well, he's just the cornerstone of the current Phoenix Coyotes.

1996 (6th)- Boyd Devereaux, C (431 38-71-109 123PIM) and...
(19th) - Matthieu Descoteaux, D (5 1-1-2 4PIM)

To be fair to the Oilers, 1996 was, perhaps, the most craptacular draft in NHL history since the entry age was reduced from 20 to 18.

Good thing the Oilers had, yet again, two first round picks in which to throw away.

Devereaux became, and is still, a decent 4th liner in the NHL. A poor return on a 6th overall pick, but he's actually one of the better picks from that first round!
Descoteaux, another big 6'4" defenseman, flopped badly. The Oilers should just stay away from big defensemen. (Good thing they didn't draft Boris Valabik, or he'd probably end up a pylon on some highway)

1997 (14th) - Michel Riesen, R (12 0-1-1 4PIM)

The 1997 first round had some very strong picks in the top half of the first round (Thornton, Samsonov, Luongo, Hossa, Jokinen, Brewer, Mara, and Boynton). Leave it to the Oilers to pick up the "Swiss Miss", Michel Riesen.

Like most Swiss draft picks, Riesen did not have the passion or incentive to work very hard for an NHL career. He's now back in Switzerland, where he pays far less taxes, and has a much easier life as a hometown hero.

I love Swiss cheese, Swiss Army Knives, and Swiss watches, but I'd stay the hell away from any Swiss draft picks.

1998 (13th) - Michael Henrich, R (0 0-0-0 0PIM)

Only one player from the 1998 first round hasn't played a single NHL game, and he's an Oiler, of course! :)

Based on his AHL career to date, he may never see an NHL game, either.

1999 (13th) - Jani Rita, L (15 3-1-4 0PIM)

It's been five years, so it's fairly safe to say that Jani Rita is turning to be a bust for the Oilers.

Despite some decent play at the AHL level, he hasn't even been able to parlay that into a regular job with the Oilers. Rita won't be a high scorer, but he should be able to play some kind of role on the bottom 2 lines. Rita has questionable work habits and hockey sense, and unless he is struck by lightning, it's safe to call him a bust right now. He may yet turn into an NHL regular, but time is running out.

2000 (17th) - Alexei Mikhnov, ? (0 0-0-0 0PIM)

With the last pick during the Barry Fraser era, he certainly went out in style with one of his usual craptacular picks.

Just call Mikhnov the mystery man, because hardly anyone knows who the hell he is or what the hell he has done since he was drafted.

This past April, the Oilers brought Mikhnov over for their first good look at the big Ukey. The Oilers really hoped to sign Mikhnov and get him playing in the AHL.

Unfortunately for the Oilers, that won't likely happen.

For one thing, Mikhnov makes about U$300,000 in the Russian League, and he wouldn't want to play for peanuts in the AHL. Add to that the expiring IIHF/NHL transfer agreement and the Russian teams demanding more compensation for their players, and despite whatever talent Mikhnov may have, he probably won't be of any value to the Oilers.

We can't say he's a bust with any certainty yet, but it doesn't look good for Oilers fans.

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So, out the dark years of the Barry Fraser era, 1984-2000, 21 Oilers first round picks produced

• 3 'GOOD' NHL Players: Smyth, Rucinsky, Arnott (14.2%)
  
• 6 'REGULAR' NHL Players (28.5% compared to league average of 33%)
  
• 13 complete busts and 2 likely busts (71.4% compared to 29%)
  

We can see that the Oilers hit a couple of home runs, but all too often came up with COMPLETE and utter draft busts, which left the Oilers system depleted and hindered their ability to develop their own players or develop quality assets for trading.

So, the next time some Oilers fanboy whines about Edmonton's small market economy hurting their NHL chances, just point them to their team's draft record, and tell them 'It's their own damn fault!'

Labels: Entry Draft, Jason Bonsignore, oilers, Ryan Smyth, Shane Doan, Steve Kelly