Wednesday, April 02, 2008


A Little Wine and Cheese

by Jes

Mediot of the Day: Michael Platt.

If you happen to be cheering for the road team at any NHL arena, it's not the best idea to get all lippy and annoying (although that doesn't stop the large mobs of Leafs and Habs fans from doing so). Given how much alcohol is consumed at sporting events, and how alpha male jackoffs allow their emotions to control their actions, it's best just to exercise some restraint when cheering on your team in another team's barn.

Still, there is no excuse for what happened in Calgary, as a bunch of drunken Flames fans took to beating an Oilers fan for being a little 'loud'.

With a broken nose and fractured cheek, Andrew Parker has learned a painful lesson about what can happen if you mouth off to strangers after a few beers.

Parker says he was walking near 18 Ave. and 4 St. S.W. early Sunday morning, still wearing his Oilers jersey, when a group of men in a nearby car started glaring at him.

Seeing their Flames' sweaters, and with a half-dozen bottles of malted courage in his system, 22-year-old Parker did something he now regrets: He yelled at the glowering men, saying something like, "How about those Flames."

The men took exception, got out of their car and gave Parker a good kicking, to borrow a phrase often used in Britain.

Is THAT really worth a beating? I supposed he said something a bit nastier. Still, nothing like that ever deserves a cowardly mob beatdown.

What irks me about this whole thing is the apologetic writing of this Michael Platt character, who seems to remind me of that macho sports jock that talks tough, but got his ass kicked around a lot in high school.

Witness the following crap he writes. Keep in mind that this is a major newspaper, and not some fan blog or rinky-dinky free paper.

But Parker's beating at the hands of a few cowardly yobs shouldn't be a collective black eye for Calgary, nor should it be misconstrued as a case of hockey fans turned hooligans at the sight of another team's colours.

Make that "alleged" beating, because we only have Parker's side of the story, so far. Police are working on the rest.

Oh, since he's an Oilers fan, he must be lying. Right.

But Calgary shouldn't think for a minute we are in danger of borrowing the British motive for such violence -- namely, one group of sports fans targeting another, for no reason other than wearing the wrong colours.

Parker was not targeted simply for wearing an Oilers jersey.

The Oilers jersey got him noticed, but Parker's mouth got him into trouble.

O RLY? Do you think these men would have stopped the car, got out of the car, and administered said beating if the guy wasn't a noticeable Oilers fan wearing Oilers colours? Gimme a break.

So, dude spends the whole column defending Calgary for the actions of these thugs, and basically expects someone should expect a beating any time they show their team's colours.

Now, do I believe Calgary is a bad place to watch hockey simply because of this incident? No, there are 100s of other, more important, reasons to dislike Calgary.



The NHLPA, in a bid to make more money for its alumni, has come out with a series of wines with the likeness of legendary players. Hmm.

The NHL Alumni Association has rolled out a Signature Wine Series, a 12-bottle collection -- six Chardonnays, six Cabernet Sauvignons -- featuring the likeness of some of hockey's greatest players.

In Chicago, the two wines, produced by Ironstone Vineyards of Murphys, Calif., are Bobby Hull's "Golden Jet" 2007 Chardonnay and Tony Esposito's "Tony O" 2005 Cabernet. The wines are sold at Binny's and in the United Center's restaurants and suites.

Given Hull's problems with alcoholism, was it really wise to give him a wine to endorse?

I can imagine the Bobby Hull wine has a hell of a kick, and will get your seriously drunk. Best drunk in a big shot glass. Try not to fight with your children, afterwards.

Tony Esposito? A solid red wine, but you will be 'shut out' when the ladies see you drinking this.

How about a Phil Esposito wine? In remembrance of his tendency to take shifts that were 1-2 minutes too long, this hearty red wine has a serious long aftertaste that takes away from its delicious flavour.

Bobby Orr? A very limited edition white wine that is superior to all other wines, but very hard to find as it was only made for a brief period in the 70s. The red version from the late 70s is disgusting, and should have never been made.

How about a Ron DuGuay white wine? This is great for getting ladies drunk and loosened up. It worked on Cher!

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I like in Calgary and I f*cking hate it here... you're right. There are thousands of more important reasons to dislike this place... These past two years have turned it into somewhere I don't even want to live.

Love the Flames though - w00t!
I like = I live. Sorry, I should stop drinking...
So some guy got his ass kicked... Big deal... Happens all the time. People are too quick to defend idiots who feel the need to provoke conflict. I'm glad he took a beating. Maybe Leafs fans here in Ottawa should take note...
They should also make a light Riesling, and call it Crosby. If ever there was a player who could be made to whine, it's Cindy...
Jes - In the writer's defence, we really are only hearing one side of the story.

I am not saying that the fellow deserved the beating, just that these stories often wind up being far less about an "innocent" victim than the initial news reports indicate.

So some guy got his ass kicked... Big deal... Happens all the time. People are too quick to defend idiots who feel the need to provoke conflict. I'm glad he took a beating. Maybe Leafs fans here in Ottawa should take note...

the fact that you see no problem with a group of guys kicking one guy's ass says a lot about you and the way you were raised. too bad none of its good.
If I was the victim, I'd try to get the charges torqued under Hate Crime laws. I mean, wearing a rival team's jersey marked him as a visible minority, which he could allege provoked the crime, right?
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