Some strange breaking news this morning as Sean Avery, our 'favourite' son of a bitch, will be out for the remainder of the season with a broken spleen.

As JP (Japers Rink) remarked, one wonders why it took THIS long for Martin Brodeur to get out his Avery voodoo doll.

Sean Avery has a lacerated spleen and will be out for the remainder of the season.

The laceration was detected with a CT scan after Avery was taken to hospital directly following Game 3 with the Penguins.

"He's stable and everything is going to be okay," a team source told TSN.

Avery suffered the injury during Game 3 but the Rangers are unsure of exactly when it occurred. The winger's pain got continuously worse during the game and became more of an issue when play concluded. Team doctor, Dr. Andrew Feldman, suspected Avery had suffered an injury to his spleen and the pair were driven to hospital. Avery entered the hospital under his own power.

Now, I'm not going to be one of those patsy types who is going to feel sorry for Avery. Yes, I know the PC thing to do is to say, "Well, no matter how much of an asshole he is, I'd never wish this upon him."

To that, I say you are full of shit. Call this Karmic justice, or just desserts, because Avery is certainly the type of fellow that could use this type of humbling. Given how much of a shallow ass Avery really is, I'm not feeling one ounce of sympathy for him.

When Forsberg had a similar spleen accident, I actually did feel for him in some manner. As much as I dislike Forsberg's diving antics and hate him for killing the Canucks again and again, I can respect him as an individual and admire him for his courage and tenacity. With Avery, I feel none of that. He's an asshole, plain and simple.

Now, another twist to this story is the tabloid NY Daily News and their coverage of this incident.

At one point, they claimed Avery was not breathing (!), and then, as the morning progressed, kept changing their story as the REAL details flowed in. As per TSN's story, Avery arrived under his own power, and was not about to die, as the NY Daily News might want you to believe.

This screenshot was captured by FanHouse's Matt Saler. Interesting ...

Labels: injuries, Sean Avery

Labels: injuries, oilers, Raffi Torres

Cheering for the Vancouver Canucks is one, big, long exercise in pain.

It's not bad enough that the team keeps losing games, or that we're subjected to the public displays of in-fighting.

Now, the Canucks have seriously caught the injury jinx, and it ain't pretty.

Both Kevin Bieksa and Sami Salo were taken to hospital with injuries. Bieksa suffered a lacerated right calf when he was cut by the skate of Predator Vernon Fiddler during the second period.

''There's a pretty deep cut there, with the (calf) muscle,'' coach Alain Vigneault said after the game.

Salo, who was playing only his fourth game after returning to the lineup after a wrist injury, was hit in the face by puck shot by teammate Alex Edler. Salo went down and bled profusely before being helped off the ice.

Vigneault said Salo, who missed nine games after being injured in an intra-squad game, was hit in the orbital bone around the eye and his nose.

Holy crap, dude! These aren't minor little nicks and scratches, and will certainly linger for a long time.

Canucks are now 1-6 at home ... WTF??

Anyway, Mitchell is playing with a very sore ankle, Krajicek is out after slipping and falling on a banana peel that Alex Ovechkin threw onto a DC sidewalk, and now this?

Yikes. So, the Canucks D is consisting of a suddenly-looking-old Mattias Ohlund, Mike "Vanilla" Weaver, Aaron "Slow as molasses" Miller, an Injured Willie Mitchell, and then some call ups.

Sure, Alex Edler will probably rock the house, but guys like Patrick Coulombe? Yuk.

Well, at least the Blues are doing well :)

Labels: Canucks, injuries, Kevin Bieksa, Sami Salo

by Jes

You knew it had to happen... Brent Sopel missed Game One of the Stars-Canucks playoffs, due to all things... a cracker-based injury.

Now you can be the proud owner of said cracker, now on sale on Ebay.

Yeah, my girlfriend was surfing around Ebay and found this strange auction right here.

Yeah, some enterprising profiteer managed to snag up the snack treat that caused Sopel so much pain.

It happened last week, on a day not unlike this one..

Brent, who was feeling fatigued and weary from hard practice before playoffs, decided to unwind and indulge in some delicious crackers. It was at that exact moment of vulnerability that that cracker struck, sending shocks of pain throughout his back, and side-lining him for the first games of the playoff series.

While I was barely able to fend off the cracker long enough to place it inside a ziplock bag, I was around its evil long enough to speculate that its place of origin is undoubtably Dallas, Texas.

While I wish from the bottom of my heart that Sopel makes a speedy return, I can do my part by taking this evil curse as far away from Vancouver as possible.

Boy, you can find anything on Ebay! (Except for Tommy Seebach merchandise. Trust me, I've looked!)

It is also interesting to note that this is a Stoned Wheat Thin. Damn things always get stuck in my teeth. I always knew they were evil ... say, aren't they made by a Swedish company?

PS: I'm officially growing a playoff moustache.

Labels: Auctions, Brent Sopel, Canucks, injuries, off-ice silliness

From Octopus over at The Face Off Circle, we get another example of a hockey player not wearing their helmet&visor correctly.

Kronwall took a deep cut across the nose, after delivering this hard hit in the Colorado game.

He's another guy, who doesn't know how to wear his helmet and visor correctly. It's always sitting too far back on his head, so he's looking under the visor.

I suspect he'll be wearing a full face-shield for awhile, now. Maybe he'll get used to looking through the plexiglas, and start wearing his usual one properly.

If you wore a jock strap, would you wear it over your ass, or only covering one ball? (well, you would if you are Phil Kessel).

Why do players continue to wear their helmets too loose? Remember Donald Brasher getting whacked by Marty McSoreloser? Brash's head hit the ice because his loose helmet popped off. The damage wouldn't have been nearly as severe if the helmet was on properly.

What's it gonna take?

Labels: injuries, Kronwall, visors

When I first heard the news about Phil Kessel and his testicular cancer, I got the same squeamish feeling that most guys probably got.

Pain + Groin Region = Major discomfort. Even talking about it or hearing about it causes me to shudder.

I mean, can a guy really read about how royal bodyguards in ancient China had to have their balls smashed with rocks so that they wouldn't go and play chase-the-snake with the princess without going 'oooooooohhhhhhhhh, man!' ?

You'd figure cancer would set a guy back for a long time, especially when it deals with such a sensitive area.

Low and behold, Kessel is already back practicing with his team.

Story Link:

Bruins rookie forward Phil Kessel returned to practice Wednesday only a few weeks after undergoing testicular cancer surgery.

Kessel participated in team workouts but avoided contact drills and said afterward he was feeling good about his progress. There is no set return date for Kessel, and he is expected to play Thursday night against the Toronto Maple Leafs.

"I think I can [play], but it's whatever's best for the team," Kessel told AP on Wednesday.

Kessel had the operation on Dec. 11 and had been skating with team trainers for at least a week. He does not require radiation treatment but will make routine visits with his doctors for physical exams and blood tests.

"I missed it, because I love to play hockey," he told AP. "I watched some of the games, but it's hard to watch when you want to be out there playing but you can't."

A month? It took only a month?

Was his cancer small? Are treatments that good? Was this a cover-up for a STD he got screwing around with Boston bunnies?

I would have never expected him to be back playing full-contact hockey in just a month. That's some speedy recoverin'

Labels: Bruins, human interest, injuries, Kessel