Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Elisha Cuthbert and Dion Phaneuf? Ewww...
by Jes
I don't watch "24", and really don't care much for Elisha Cuthbert. She's not quite as good looking as most people seem to think she is, her hairstyles always suck, and her attempt at hockey blogging made Glenn Beck look like a genius orator of opinion.
That said, we can't but help but talk about her when she's a high profile actress and she's dating yappy NHL players. It makes for good gossip and good press. It's certainly more interesting than watching the Canucks blow another 3rd period lead.
Elisha seemed to finally get a clue when she dumped Sean Avery after a year or two of listening to the endless spewing of crap from his sewer mouth. The thrill was gone, and she had to realize that Avery would ...
a. never shut up
b. cheat quite often (as many players do)
c. not make good long-term marriage material
d. continue to accumulate enough facial scars to make Freddy Krueger jealous
Well, maybe she didn't learn anything, because now she's with ... da-dum ... noted asshole Dion Phaneuf (!?)
Women wonder why certain men treat them like crap, and then these women keep going out with the 'bad boy' time and time again. When you play with snakes, expect to get bitten.
Elisha, your taste in men clearly sucks as much as you do after an apple martini, and we know that this relationship won't last more than a year, tops.
*shakes head*
I don't watch "24", and really don't care much for Elisha Cuthbert. She's not quite as good looking as most people seem to think she is, her hairstyles always suck, and her attempt at hockey blogging made Glenn Beck look like a genius orator of opinion.
That said, we can't but help but talk about her when she's a high profile actress and she's dating yappy NHL players. It makes for good gossip and good press. It's certainly more interesting than watching the Canucks blow another 3rd period lead.
Elisha seemed to finally get a clue when she dumped Sean Avery after a year or two of listening to the endless spewing of crap from his sewer mouth. The thrill was gone, and she had to realize that Avery would ...
a. never shut up
b. cheat quite often (as many players do)
c. not make good long-term marriage material
d. continue to accumulate enough facial scars to make Freddy Krueger jealous
Well, maybe she didn't learn anything, because now she's with ... da-dum ... noted asshole Dion Phaneuf (!?)
As if his own star wasn't burning brightly enough, Calgary Flames defenceman Dion Phaneuf is now being linked to Hollywood starlet Elisha Cuthbert.
Having been seen recently in Calgary attending a Flames game, the Girl Next Door actress -- who was born in Cowtown before moving to Montreal -- grabbed the attention of those in the entertainment industry, setting the Internet abuzz.
A celebrity gossip columnist apparently got wind of it, and CTV's e-Talk has reported the two are an item.
When asked about the rumours, the big blueliner neither confirmed nor denied reports, saying he won't talk about his personal life.
Women wonder why certain men treat them like crap, and then these women keep going out with the 'bad boy' time and time again. When you play with snakes, expect to get bitten.
Elisha, your taste in men clearly sucks as much as you do after an apple martini, and we know that this relationship won't last more than a year, tops.
*shakes head*
Labels: Elisha Cuthbert, gossip, Phaneuf
Dater Does Not Dig Dion
by Jes
Most MSM mediots are rather droll and uninspired. Years of covering the same team and beating the same drum seem to suck the life out of most writers, leaving them bitter husks that create stupid trade rumours out of thin air (*cough* Tony Gallagher *cough*), and always whine about how their team/players aren't good enough after last night's 3-2 loss in OT.
It doesn’t help that the papers practice a big load of self-censorship, and don't allow much in the way of true personality to ever be expressed. We can't risk pissing off those lucrative advertisers, or the teams themselves, can we?
Well, author Adrian "The Hater" Dater is one of the few MSM writers that allows his emotions to get the better of him, and it makes for great reading. It helps that The Denver Post allows him this avenue for expressing himself without a whole lot of interference.
Take this recent blog about a Flames/Avs tilt in which Dater rips into Phaneuf.
See, this is the kind of stuff the fans want to read. The Laimbeer comparison is quite apt, and Dater expresses many of the same thoughts most non-Flames fans have had for some time. Dater's blog posts show a good range of emotions, and make for far more interesting reading than you usually get from the stodgy MSM.
Other MSM publications should take note of how many comments and referring links Dater's blog has generated, and get a clue.
Most MSM mediots are rather droll and uninspired. Years of covering the same team and beating the same drum seem to suck the life out of most writers, leaving them bitter husks that create stupid trade rumours out of thin air (*cough* Tony Gallagher *cough*), and always whine about how their team/players aren't good enough after last night's 3-2 loss in OT.
It doesn’t help that the papers practice a big load of self-censorship, and don't allow much in the way of true personality to ever be expressed. We can't risk pissing off those lucrative advertisers, or the teams themselves, can we?
Well, author Adrian "The Hater" Dater is one of the few MSM writers that allows his emotions to get the better of him, and it makes for great reading. It helps that The Denver Post allows him this avenue for expressing himself without a whole lot of interference.
Take this recent blog about a Flames/Avs tilt in which Dater rips into Phaneuf.
So here is Dion Phaneuf tonight, laying one big hit from behind after another on Peter Forsberg, and there goes Forsberg to the penalty box for a little tap on some guy’s glove a few minutes later. Same old NHL, where the retaliator is penalized.
Phaneuf is a bit of a Bill Laimbeer on skates, by the way. And some day he’s going to get his, and it’s not going to be pretty for him. He’s going to hit one backside of a player too many, and somebody is going to rip that shield off his face and hand him his teeth. (And yes, he’s an effective player, though, because he DOES get people off their games mentally. And, yes, if I was a coach and he played on my team, I’d probably love him. But not always. You can argue he cost his team a game, with a foolish interference penalty - and blatantly cross-checking Paul Stastny from behind, not long after the Avs scored on his first penalty, didn’t help the Flames’ cause, either).
We’ll see if the Avs have any hair on their chests the rest of the night or not. I said it once and I’ll say it again - you gotta smack the bully in the mouth.
See, this is the kind of stuff the fans want to read. The Laimbeer comparison is quite apt, and Dater expresses many of the same thoughts most non-Flames fans have had for some time. Dater's blog posts show a good range of emotions, and make for far more interesting reading than you usually get from the stodgy MSM.
Other MSM publications should take note of how many comments and referring links Dater's blog has generated, and get a clue.
Labels: adrian dater, mainstream mediots, MSM, Phaneuf
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday's Thirsty Thoughts
by Jes
Not only are the Anaheim Ducks a better team than the one you cheer for, but
they are also stylin' and profilin' like GQ models. Somewhere, Earl Sleek is drooling over his Jack&Coke.
"I'm too sexy for my stick
too sexy for my stick
so sexy, it's sick"
I'd have to give the nod to Teemu over Getzlag and Jiggy. Giguere is a distant third with an ugly blue shirt that makes him look a bit chubby and unathletic, and Getzlaf looks way too much like a security guard or businessman clone.
(Hat-tip to JP at Japers Rink for the linkage)
So, Dion Phaneuf was strutting into a Starbucks to grab an overpriced non-fat latte when somebody took off with his gas-guzzling SUV.
Does anyone feel sorry for the prick? I didn't think so.
Note to Dion, try buying a vehicle that is a little kinder to the environment, k? Not that I'd normally advocate the theft of a motor vehicle, but it's not as if Dion can't afford a new shaggin' wagon with his fat new contract extension.
Yes, I was totally cheering for Dustin Head (nice name) to win a cool $1mil last night. Apparently, so was Peter Forsberg.
Check out the video highlights over at FanHouse.
More FanHouse goodness: Greg Wyshynski found a story about a naughty little scandal involving high school hockey players in Nova Scotia.
Apparently, the head coach allowed some rather cheeky little comments to be part of the players' bios. A mistake or on purpose? Who knows ...
Crude, but hilarious. I can't believe those write-ups were actually allowed to go through.
I just wonder what Greg was searching for when he came upon that story O.o
Wayne, our Southern Correspondent asks:
A stat change: Shouldn't there be a stat for players who take penalties and their team gives up a goal while they're in the box?
The problem with that kind of stat is that there would be far too much un/luck involved.
Say Jarkko Ruutu takes 60 minor penalties in a season, but his team does a great job on the PK, and lets in only 6 goals.
Compare that to a guy like Pavol Demitra, who takes 20 minor penalties. What if his team gives up 6 goals in those 20 PKs? Then, Pavol would look far worse than Ruutu, despite the fact he took 40 less penalties. Clearly, a player cannot control what his teammates do when he is not on the ice.
The best thing would be a +/- for penalties taken/drawn (not including off-setting, of course), so we could see just who puts their team at a man-disadvantage the most.
they are also stylin' and profilin' like GQ models. Somewhere, Earl Sleek is drooling over his Jack&Coke.
too sexy for my stick
so sexy, it's sick"
But neither did the three dapper Ducks when event emcee and comedienne Cindy Burns asked them – "these hot, hot, hot guys," she called them – each to strike a pose.
Getzlaf turned to an audience of mostly women, some hooting with high pitches, and offered his best GQ-cover serious look before bursting out with laughter.
Giguere, who was introduced as "Gee-gahr," put his left foot forward, pushed back the tails on his dark Canali sportcoat, sunk his hands in pockets and vogued. (His fair cheeks turned pink as he probably was wishing he could just lower a goalie mask.)
Selanne, wearing a gray, herringbone Armani suit with a lavender shirt and handkerchief, happily played to the gallery's cat calls. When urged to model his apparel, the sly Selanne walked his fingers suggestively to his waist and – cue striptease music – raised a corner of his untucked shirt, exposing some torso for his wardrobe (mal)function.
I'd have to give the nod to Teemu over Getzlag and Jiggy. Giguere is a distant third with an ugly blue shirt that makes him look a bit chubby and unathletic, and Getzlaf looks way too much like a security guard or businessman clone.
(Hat-tip to JP at Japers Rink for the linkage)
Does anyone feel sorry for the prick? I didn't think so.
Note to Dion, try buying a vehicle that is a little kinder to the environment, k? Not that I'd normally advocate the theft of a motor vehicle, but it's not as if Dion can't afford a new shaggin' wagon with his fat new contract extension.
Check out the video highlights over at FanHouse.
Apparently, the head coach allowed some rather cheeky little comments to be part of the players' bios. A mistake or on purpose? Who knows ...
One player's bio says he enjoys "some meat between his buns." Another's says he likes hunting and fishing and warns women that he shares his bed with a huge weapon.
A third player's write-up says he "could be coming into your mouth sooner than you think as he seeks a profession in dental hygenics (sic) in the near future."
Another bio refers to a player's desire to visit pop singer Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch.
And another caption says a player wants to become a motivational speaker for the hearing impaired.
Crude, but hilarious. I can't believe those write-ups were actually allowed to go through.
I just wonder what Greg was searching for when he came upon that story O.o
A stat change: Shouldn't there be a stat for players who take penalties and their team gives up a goal while they're in the box?
The problem with that kind of stat is that there would be far too much un/luck involved.
Say Jarkko Ruutu takes 60 minor penalties in a season, but his team does a great job on the PK, and lets in only 6 goals.
Compare that to a guy like Pavol Demitra, who takes 20 minor penalties. What if his team gives up 6 goals in those 20 PKs? Then, Pavol would look far worse than Ruutu, despite the fact he took 40 less penalties. Clearly, a player cannot control what his teammates do when he is not on the ice.
The best thing would be a +/- for penalties taken/drawn (not including off-setting, of course), so we could see just who puts their team at a man-disadvantage the most.
Labels: ducks, Getzlaf, off-ice silliness, Phaneuf
Monday, March 19, 2007
Party Pics: Kiprusoff and Phaneuf are Smokin!
by Jes
It seems the spirit of the 1970's New York Rangers hasn't died out completely.
Here's Miikka Kiprusoff and Dion Phaneuf at a classy strip club, smoking on a couple of cancer sticks and enjoying the company of a few bunnies.
Now, Kipper is a known smoker, but Phaneuf? Should a d-man playing 25+ mins a night really be inhaling cigarette smoke?
Methinks one Sutter brother won't be too happy to see this!
(Edit: Looks like the evil bastards over at The Battle of Alberta beat me to the punch.)
It seems the spirit of the 1970's New York Rangers hasn't died out completely.
Here's Miikka Kiprusoff and Dion Phaneuf at a classy strip club, smoking on a couple of cancer sticks and enjoying the company of a few bunnies.
Now, Kipper is a known smoker, but Phaneuf? Should a d-man playing 25+ mins a night really be inhaling cigarette smoke?
Methinks one Sutter brother won't be too happy to see this!
(Edit: Looks like the evil bastards over at The Battle of Alberta beat me to the punch.)
Labels: Flames, Kiprusoff, Phaneuf, Players Partying
Friday, December 15, 2006
Canucks Rule 3 - Calgary Flames Suck 1
The Vancouver Canucks, finally, were up to a real challenge and beat the Calgary Flamers by a 3-1 score. 2 straight games and 2 good efforts. With the crazy-ass weather we've been having here, there are some strange omens going around.
My lucky bastard of a co-worker got free tickets (FREE TICKETS!!!) to the game last night and ended up being treated to one of the most entertaining tilts of the year. Yep, this game had a bit of everything and drew out the best in both clubs (except for Tanguay who was nowhere to be seen)
Now, I've had a hard time drumming up a real hate for the Flames. Sure, they are from Calgary, a cultural wasteland, but I respect most of their players and they are a tough team to play against that doesn't pull a lot of crap.
So, we need a target. I've deciced on Dion Phaneuf.
Why?
1. He's named after Celine Dion (It's true, because you read it on a blog)
2. He always has that pissed-off sourpuss "I'm an asshole" look on his face. Could you smile once in awhile?
3. Phaneuf is just a dumb, silly name. Even other French people must say, between puffs of their cigarettes, "Mon dieu, what a dumb, silly name!"
Sure, I'd love the guy on my team any day of the week, but he's also somewhat easy to hate. Consider him Denis Gauthier with actual talent.
Jes's 3 Stars (No Flamers Allowed)
1. Brendan Morrison - His shot on the 3rd goal of the game was twice as hard as I've ever seen him shoot the puck before. He's working hard and producing, finally.
2. Matt Cooke - Great pass on the Morrison goal and all-around pesty effort is the kind of game Cooke should have every night.
3. Willie Mitchell - Held Iginla in check and had a noticeably good game.
Honourable Mention: The Canucks PK unit, which held the Flames to an 0-for-8 mark.
Other crap on my mind
1. Alanah @ VCOE made the point that Matthew Lombardi is really, really, really, really fast. D00ds got 10 goals and 20 points in 29 games and scored the only Flamers goal last night.
2. Kevin Bieksa had 8 of the Canucks 27 shots on goal last night. D00d!
3. Fitzpatrick finished with a +2. Just another reason to vote him into the All-Star game.
My lucky bastard of a co-worker got free tickets (FREE TICKETS!!!) to the game last night and ended up being treated to one of the most entertaining tilts of the year. Yep, this game had a bit of everything and drew out the best in both clubs (except for Tanguay who was nowhere to be seen)
Now, I've had a hard time drumming up a real hate for the Flames. Sure, they are from Calgary, a cultural wasteland, but I respect most of their players and they are a tough team to play against that doesn't pull a lot of crap.
So, we need a target. I've deciced on Dion Phaneuf.
Why?
1. He's named after Celine Dion (It's true, because you read it on a blog)
2. He always has that pissed-off sourpuss "I'm an asshole" look on his face. Could you smile once in awhile?
3. Phaneuf is just a dumb, silly name. Even other French people must say, between puffs of their cigarettes, "Mon dieu, what a dumb, silly name!"
Sure, I'd love the guy on my team any day of the week, but he's also somewhat easy to hate. Consider him Denis Gauthier with actual talent.
Jes's 3 Stars (No Flamers Allowed)
1. Brendan Morrison - His shot on the 3rd goal of the game was twice as hard as I've ever seen him shoot the puck before. He's working hard and producing, finally.
2. Matt Cooke - Great pass on the Morrison goal and all-around pesty effort is the kind of game Cooke should have every night.
3. Willie Mitchell - Held Iginla in check and had a noticeably good game.
Honourable Mention: The Canucks PK unit, which held the Flames to an 0-for-8 mark.
Other crap on my mind
1. Alanah @ VCOE made the point that Matthew Lombardi is really, really, really, really fast. D00ds got 10 goals and 20 points in 29 games and scored the only Flamers goal last night.
2. Kevin Bieksa had 8 of the Canucks 27 shots on goal last night. D00d!
3. Fitzpatrick finished with a +2. Just another reason to vote him into the All-Star game.
Labels: Canucks, Cooke, Flames, Mitchell, Non-Live Game Recap, Phaneuf
