Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sean Avery: His Crap Works!
by Jes
It's rather well known to my 5-6 readers that Sean Avery is one of my least-favourite players. It's one thing to be a pest, but it's another to be an annoying douchebag with few redeeming qualities. I would NOT want to be a teammate of Sean Avery, no matter how many goals he might score when he puts his mind to it.
That said, I have to respect the fact that he absolutely rocked the New Jersey Devils with his motor-mouth and some big goals. I didn't think the Rangers could beat the Devils, but combine Avery's pestiness with Brodeur's craptastic netminding, and you had the round's first upset.
The only way a bitch like Avery can win is if you acknowledge his presence and let him 'win' the verbal battles. Ignore him, and he'll grow bored once he realizes that you aren't going to play that way.
The New Jersey Devils, especially coach Sutter and Brodeur, were so fixiated on what Avery was doing that they were both extremely off of their games. Brodeur should have been much better than he was, but he was obviously flustered and too hot-headed to make the saves he needed to make.
Per Straight Up Sports:
The Rangers next opponent would be wise to see just how much trouble Avery caused the Devils, and learn to ignore his wisecracks. Yes, it can be hard to resist slapping the shit-eating grin off Sean's stubbly face, but it has to be done.
The more Avery succeeds at getting under your skin, the more he'll crank up the volume of crap he spews out of his sewer mouth.
So, I will give props to Avery for disrupting the usually unflappable Devils so well, but I still want him to paralyzed by an anvil dropped by Wile E. Coyote.
It's rather well known to my 5-6 readers that Sean Avery is one of my least-favourite players. It's one thing to be a pest, but it's another to be an annoying douchebag with few redeeming qualities. I would NOT want to be a teammate of Sean Avery, no matter how many goals he might score when he puts his mind to it.
That said, I have to respect the fact that he absolutely rocked the New Jersey Devils with his motor-mouth and some big goals. I didn't think the Rangers could beat the Devils, but combine Avery's pestiness with Brodeur's craptastic netminding, and you had the round's first upset.
The only way a bitch like Avery can win is if you acknowledge his presence and let him 'win' the verbal battles. Ignore him, and he'll grow bored once he realizes that you aren't going to play that way.
The New Jersey Devils, especially coach Sutter and Brodeur, were so fixiated on what Avery was doing that they were both extremely off of their games. Brodeur should have been much better than he was, but he was obviously flustered and too hot-headed to make the saves he needed to make.
Per Straight Up Sports:
Avery won the battle. He got the entire Devil team chasing him and going after him; leaving the likes of Jagr, Gomez, Henrik to do their thing. Even more irritating, Sean Avery had 3 goals and 2 assists in a series where he got the high holy hell kicked out of him. Not once did he retaliate, not once did he spear Brodeur BACK after one of several times Brodeur slashed and prodded him. The Devils, a lot like the Thrashers last year, seemed a lot more concerned with crosschecking, punching, and disgustingly, horse collaring people as opposed to actually playing hockey, and it cost them. I don't think this can be in dispute. Anyway, back to Avery.Yes, Avery took 3 minor penalties in the series, but that's about par for the course when he's around. He didn't get into any fights, and was generally good at not putting the Rangers shorthanded TOO often.
He reads Vogue magazine. He goes to fashion shows. He paints his finger nails. He wears lame hats. He walks around like a hard ass. He spends $300 on t shirts. I'd bet I'll see him at Tonic East on Saturday Night wearing a pink popped collar shirt once the season ends. He probably cuts off little old ladies flying down the Henry Hudson in his convertible. He typifies everything there is to hate about the stereotypical New Yorker.
The Rangers next opponent would be wise to see just how much trouble Avery caused the Devils, and learn to ignore his wisecracks. Yes, it can be hard to resist slapping the shit-eating grin off Sean's stubbly face, but it has to be done.
The more Avery succeeds at getting under your skin, the more he'll crank up the volume of crap he spews out of his sewer mouth.
So, I will give props to Avery for disrupting the usually unflappable Devils so well, but I still want him to paralyzed by an anvil dropped by Wile E. Coyote.
Labels: Devils, Martin Brodeur, Rangers, Sean Avery
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Wednesday's Wackiness
by Jes
My girlfriend sent me this photo of the Toronto Maple Leafs defense, and it made my day. As Homer Simpson would proclaim, "It's funny, because it's true!"
---
Meanwhile, the NHL grows a couple of hairy ones and comes down hard on Chris Simon with a 30-game suspension.
Hard enough? Hardly. Simon should have been gone for the season + playoffs. Now, if only the Isles would get rid of the thug once and for all ...
---
Over at the FanHouse ...
Aaron Miller scores his first goal in FOUR years! Sightings of flying pigs around Vancouver up 300%
Last night's 5-0 win over New Jersey was quite the pleasure to watch. I always enjoy seeing Martin Brodeur lit up like a rich man's Christmas tree, especially when it's guys like Miller and Linden blasting pucks by the man with the golden horseshoe up his arse.
---
Help us caption this photo of some ashamed Capitals fans. I know they don't have Crosby, but should Caps fans really be so afraid to show their faces in public?
---
Speaking of Sidney Crosby, he's no match for the power of the Canadian dollar. Sorry, Sid, but you don't make my eBay purchases cheaper.
My girlfriend sent me this photo of the Toronto Maple Leafs defense, and it made my day. As Homer Simpson would proclaim, "It's funny, because it's true!"
---
Meanwhile, the NHL grows a couple of hairy ones and comes down hard on Chris Simon with a 30-game suspension.
Hard enough? Hardly. Simon should have been gone for the season + playoffs. Now, if only the Isles would get rid of the thug once and for all ...
---
Over at the FanHouse ...
Aaron Miller scores his first goal in FOUR years! Sightings of flying pigs around Vancouver up 300%
Last night's 5-0 win over New Jersey was quite the pleasure to watch. I always enjoy seeing Martin Brodeur lit up like a rich man's Christmas tree, especially when it's guys like Miller and Linden blasting pucks by the man with the golden horseshoe up his arse.
---
Help us caption this photo of some ashamed Capitals fans. I know they don't have Crosby, but should Caps fans really be so afraid to show their faces in public?
---
Speaking of Sidney Crosby, he's no match for the power of the Canadian dollar. Sorry, Sid, but you don't make my eBay purchases cheaper.
Labels: Aaron Miller, Martin Brodeur, musings, photo of the day
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
What? The Senators Don't Suck?!
by Jes
Is anyone else surprised by this year's version of the Ottawa Senators? They have this whole 'Team of Destiny' vibe to them that I felt with the Carolina Hurricanes last year. It's very weird to see a team coached by Bryan Murray actually not suck in the playoffs.
I have more on these surprising Sens at The NHL Fanhouse.
As for the Sabres, they've looked like a team that hasn't quite been there during these playoffs. Oh, they won their first two series without much in the way of casualties, but there was always that feeling that they weren't playing their A-game. Well, their special teams have failed them, Tallinder is hurt, and they can't generate offence. I never figured THIS Sabres club would have problems scoring goals.
Back to the Sens, I find myself tempted to join the bandwagon. Oh, I hate the city of Ottawa, but I gotta support the one lone Slovak remaining in the playoffs (Meszaros).
I'd love to see the cup come to a Canadian city, especially over Murder City, USA, or Anaheim, the city of hotel after hotel.
Also at the NHL Fanhouse:
1. A funny video of a pizza commercial starring Martin Brodeur and Luc Robitaille.
Unlike Gretztky's boring-ass commercials (Save for the Brian Leetch as a figure skater), this commercial is actually GOOD.
2. A look at the Minnesota Wild's goaltending glut.
Worst-case scenario, they are stuck with Fernandez/Harding.
Best case scenario, they re-sign Backstrom for fairly cheap, trade Fernandez for a draft pick, and go with Backstrom/Harding.
Either way, they can't really lose, can they?
3. One little Sabres fan who won't give up hope!! - Obviously, someone hasn't been jaded by years of failure...
4. ... Unlike Tom Luongo, who's seen enough Buffalo sports teams fail to drive him to drink straight out of the keg.
Is anyone else surprised by this year's version of the Ottawa Senators? They have this whole 'Team of Destiny' vibe to them that I felt with the Carolina Hurricanes last year. It's very weird to see a team coached by Bryan Murray actually not suck in the playoffs.I have more on these surprising Sens at The NHL Fanhouse.
As for the Sabres, they've looked like a team that hasn't quite been there during these playoffs. Oh, they won their first two series without much in the way of casualties, but there was always that feeling that they weren't playing their A-game. Well, their special teams have failed them, Tallinder is hurt, and they can't generate offence. I never figured THIS Sabres club would have problems scoring goals.
Back to the Sens, I find myself tempted to join the bandwagon. Oh, I hate the city of Ottawa, but I gotta support the one lone Slovak remaining in the playoffs (Meszaros).
I'd love to see the cup come to a Canadian city, especially over Murder City, USA, or Anaheim, the city of hotel after hotel.
Also at the NHL Fanhouse:
1. A funny video of a pizza commercial starring Martin Brodeur and Luc Robitaille.
Unlike Gretztky's boring-ass commercials (Save for the Brian Leetch as a figure skater), this commercial is actually GOOD.
2. A look at the Minnesota Wild's goaltending glut.
Worst-case scenario, they are stuck with Fernandez/Harding.
Best case scenario, they re-sign Backstrom for fairly cheap, trade Fernandez for a draft pick, and go with Backstrom/Harding.
Either way, they can't really lose, can they?
3. One little Sabres fan who won't give up hope!! - Obviously, someone hasn't been jaded by years of failure...
4. ... Unlike Tom Luongo, who's seen enough Buffalo sports teams fail to drive him to drink straight out of the keg.
Labels: Martin Brodeur, musings, sabres, senators, Wild
Thursday, April 05, 2007
NHL: Martin Brodeur Sets Wins Record for Goalies*
by Jes
(c) Getty Images
Look, anyone with some semblance of individual thought knows that Brodeur's record is a sham. Parent, classy as he is, has a right, if he wishes, to be pissed off that he's lost his record thanks to the advent of the shootout.
Over at The Fanhouse, JP offers his take:
An asterisk? No, I don't believe that's quite right. The record is tainted, yes, but not because of Brodeur's doing.
You know how baseball has 'modern' records and 'old time' records? Perhaps the NHL should adopt a classification for New NHL records, such as Brodeur's wins record. The New NHL has added a whole new whack of oddities to the mix, and manipulated the standings. Having a team achieve 100 points in a season isn't quite the achievement it used to be. Instead of a bunch of *****, just have a New NHL set of records for some categories, and another for traditional records.
Anyone got a better idea?
(c) Getty Images
Martin Brodeur and the New Jersey Devils had a record-setting night against the worst team in the NHL.What is on the note? "YOUR RECORD IS TAINTED" ??
Brodeur surpassed Bernie Parent, Philadelphia's stalwart Stanley Cup-winning goalie, for wins in a season with 48 and the Devils clinched the Atlantic Division title with a 3-2 win over the Flyers on Thursday night.
"I think with him being an icon as far as goalies for the Flyers, to go into Philly and do it here, I couldn't write it a lot better than that," Brodeur said.
Brodeur stopped 34 shots, including a breakaway in the second, to break the 33-year-old record in the city where Parent led the Broad Street Bullies to two Stanley Cup championships. While some retired stars want to see their records stand forever, Parent said before the game he was rooting for Brodeur.
"This is his year," said Parent, his retired No. 1 hanging from the rafters. "He's played fantastic hockey. It couldn't have happened to a more fantastic individual."
Parent sent a personal note that Brodeur said he would read at home.
Look, anyone with some semblance of individual thought knows that Brodeur's record is a sham. Parent, classy as he is, has a right, if he wishes, to be pissed off that he's lost his record thanks to the advent of the shootout.
Over at The Fanhouse, JP offers his take:
Brodeur has won a League-high 10 of those games in shootouts. Bernie Parent won, well, none of his games in shootouts, but did tie a dozen games that year -- games that would have gone to the shootout had they existed. It's a safe bet that Parent, that year's Vezina Trophy winner as the League's best goalie, would have won enough of those shootouts that we wouldn't even be talking about Brodeur closing in on his record right now, much less tying or breaking it.
... is the record legitimate or does it deserve the dreaded asterisk?
An asterisk? No, I don't believe that's quite right. The record is tainted, yes, but not because of Brodeur's doing.
You know how baseball has 'modern' records and 'old time' records? Perhaps the NHL should adopt a classification for New NHL records, such as Brodeur's wins record. The New NHL has added a whole new whack of oddities to the mix, and manipulated the standings. Having a team achieve 100 points in a season isn't quite the achievement it used to be. Instead of a bunch of *****, just have a New NHL set of records for some categories, and another for traditional records.
Anyone got a better idea?
Labels: brodeur, Devils, Martin Brodeur, New Jersey, NHL, nhl record
