Sunday, September 02, 2007

 

Jan Bulis Bolts to Russia

by Jes



I heard the rumours out of Russia, and didn't want to believe them.

Alas, Jan Bulis, the penalty killer Willis was talkin' bout, has signed with a Russia team, after being spurned by the Canucks.

Unrestricted free agent Jan Bulis has opted to go overseas for the 2007-08 season, where he will play for the Russian club Khimik Mytischy, according to eurohockey.net.

The Czech forward played 79 games for the Canucks last year, scoring 12 goals and adding 11 assists in his first season with Vancouver. He played the previous 4 1/2 with the Montreal Canadiens.

*teardrop*

Well, I'll never forget Bulis or this hit he delivered to asswipe Jack Johnson.

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Monday, August 27, 2007

 

Monday Morning Musings

by Jes
Good looking, famous, and dumber than a sack of potatoes. This is an apt description for the couple that is one Mike Modano and one Willa Ford.

Yes, the NHL's Pretty Boy and bimbo 'actress'got married in a private ceremony.

If these two ever have kids, you can expect some good looking tykes who will have trouble tying their own shoelaces. Basically, Paris Hilton clones. I wonder if their kids will have enough IQ points to breath without mechanical assistance.

Read more gag-inducing details over at the NHL FanHouse.
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Jan Bulis has a much better car than you will ever hope to have. See?



August 27th, and still nobody has signed the guy? WTF?? Poor Alanah is being driven to drink. Greg even went to London to escape the pain.

Hat tip to Vakfan, who has his own English-language blog that gives us North Amerikaners a nice look at the hockey goings-on in Czechia.

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It turns out that the Flyers are joining the growing list of teams that are moving their goal judges to far-away lands. Instead of just firing the guy, they move up him to the press box.

What the hell is the point? Just scrap the position and wake up to the 21st Century.

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Over at Taking One For The Team, a few of us bloggers took part in the Salary Cap Challenge.

The premise is simple: Make a team of any 20 players that you want, so long as you fit under the $42mil salary cap set.

You can go and see my team, which is very well balanced and has enough Slovak to kick some ass. I ensured to take Samuel Pahlsson "Is God" and other defensive specialists, so my team can beat you in just about every way other than fighting.

Marian Gaborik (6.5) - Sidney Crosby (0.85) - Pavol Demitra (4.5)
Cory Stillman (1.75) - Evgeni Malkin (0.984) - Justin Williams (3.5)
Jere Lehtinen (3.9) - Jordan Staal (0.85) - Corey Perry (0.494)
Jay Pandolfo (0.836) - Sami Pahlsson (1.4) - Branko Radivojevic (0.68)
Kevin Bieksa (0.55) - Francois Beauchemin (1.65)
Dion Phaneuf (0.942) - Lubomir Visnovsky (2.052)
Jaroslav Modry (1.2) - Mike Commodore (1.3)
Roberto Luongo (6.75)
Chris Mason (1.25)

Total Cap Space Spent = $41.938
Cap Space Remaining = $3.062


Most chose guys like Marc Savard for their fourth line, not realizing what a poor fit that would be in terms of playing style, chemistry, and personalities. Put a guy like Savard on the fourth line, and expect to have a pouty poopypants who is unable to stop opposing scoring stars from, uhh, scoring.

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And, lastly, I'd like to thank my Sidney Crosby blogger/partner-in-crime, snoopyjode (Jodie), for creating the new sidebar that you see on the left. Thanks to her, the links are much more organized for all to use. There are many excellent hockey blogs out there, so be sure to check them out.

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

 

The Truth About Jan Bulis



Jan Bulis: Penalty Killer Extraordinaire, Master of the Hip-Check, Pavol Demitra wanna-be.

Bulis doesn't get a whole lot of love and respect from Canucks' fan and media, because these people just don't know the REAL Jan Bulis.

Things about Jan Bulis you didn't know ...

  • Jan Bulis counted to infinity - twice.
  • Jan Bulis is Luke Skywalker’s real father
  • They once made a Jan Bulis toilet paper. It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
  • Jan Bulis is what Willis was talking about.
  • Jan Bulis only masturbates to pictures of Jan Bulis ... and Pavol Demitra
  • Jan Bulis sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled penalty-killing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Bulis bodychecked the devil into the boards and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • Jan Bulis isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.

  • Dairy Queen used to be Dairy King before Jan Bulis made it his bitch.
  • There is no "I" in team. There is an "I" in Jan Bulis. Screw you, team.
  • Jan Bulis' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • Jan Bulis is the reason Waldo is hiding.
  • Jan Bulis can speak braille.
  • Jan Bulis doesn't have a computer, just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  • Jan Bulis can delete the Recycling Bin.
  • On his birthday, Jan Bulis randomly selects one lucky kitten to be thrown into the sun.
  • When Jan Bulis gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.


  • ... and know you know!

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