Monday, June 25, 2007


Mark Messier: Hall of Fame Player

by Jes
Mark Messier
Mark Messier was known as quite a player during his days here in Vancouver, and I'm not talking about what little he did on the ice. Messier was definitely a home here in Hollywood North, where he could spend precious exercise time chatting up actresses and filming chip commercials.

It's nice to know that the penis-headed fraud is getting the recognition he deserves by making it into the Hall of Fame.

From the Sports Hernia:

The former Oilers, Canucks and Rangers pussy-splitting forward has led an almost mythical journey through the bone zone, banging the likes of Madonna, a young Tyra Banks and supermodel Frederique, all while maintaining his mind-boggling run of 6,037 straight days in the zone as well. Visibly humbled by the overwhelming induction ceremony into the BZHOF, which recognizes the greatest ass antennas on Earth, Messier could barely get the words out.

"You know, growing up a small town boy in Alberta, Canada, never in a million years did I imagine I would be drowning in exotic supermodel ass" said the tractor-beam pants wearing Messier, "But now, years later, standing behind this bronzed penis microphone, I truly feel at peace with myself, with everything. Man, I've plowed some Grade A poon," he said, shaking his head and pausing for a moment. "Man."

Mark Messier: Truly a leader of men.

(Thanks to Wayne for the assist)

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Mark Messier was at the center of a flashpoint dispute between the NHL and NHLPA here Thursday, we're told. After Gary Bettman addressed 15-20 of the top prospects, Messier followed the commissioner and the commissioner's example by extolling the league's virtues. According to an agreement between the parties, the union has 15 minutes of its own time to talk to the prospects free of league personnel. As Ian Penny prepared to speak, the NHLPA executive noticed Messier had taken a seat among the players in the back row of the room. When Penny had an associate ask Messier to leave the room, league personnel reacted with disgust.

New York Post
I somewhat said this at a Canes message board I frequent, and I'll say it here: All that keeps Mark Messier from completely looking like Bull Shannon is that he does not wear a New York City bailiff's uniform.

I cannot believe I never picked up on that earlier than a couple of days ago...the resemblance is uncanny. o_O
Wow! What a complete tool...sitting in your mom's one bedroom apt. with jelly on your wife-beater writing about a sports are what the blogs and the internet is famous for...the opportunity for self perceived greatness at the expense of others who are truly great....moronic postings by never-was-never-will-be's that get their minimal once a year erection by slagging off someone that they could never begin to measure up to. Making fun of someone getting some actress poon? Your sad jealousy slip is showing Nancy. Go outside and pick up your tact, you dropped it on the way back in the apt. after your mom made you take out the garbage.

I'll enjoy watching you delete this truth from your empty blog.
Truth? Maybe on FauxNews.

It's sad when some people can't take a joke. Take the tampon out of your ass and have a beer. Lighten up!
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