by Gőlbez


The NHL is always in need of good marketing ideas, and Hockey Rants is always willing to give out unsolicited advice.

Question: What's one of the most thriving industries in the US of A?

Answer: Celebrity Gossip!

Millions of dollars and far too many inches of column space are dedicated to the coffee drinking habits of the Olsen Twins, Justin Timberlake's dating habits, and Lindsay Lohan's 'rehab'.

So, why doesn't the NHL jump on this bandwagon and try to catch some of the benefits?

Remember how much ink was spilled when Jose Theodore spent one night in the Paris Hilton? How about Elisha Cuthbert and Sean Avery? Candice Cameron and Valeri Bure? Carole Alt and Alexei Yashin? Janet Jones and Whine Gretzky? Tie Domi and Belinda Stronach? Cher and Ronald "Donkey Schlong" DuGuay?

Well, Pink Seats, a local 'hockey column' from the Vancouver Province, is on board with the idea of hooking up NHL stars with celebrity starlets. It might seem silly to you, but it would be a brilliant marketing opportunity.

Perhaps the marketing department should forget about tight-fitting uniforms and new rules and invest in a matchmaker to hook up a high-profile celebrity from the entertainment world with one of its good-looking, talented young players.

In other words, if hockey ever wants to reach the popularity levels of the NFL, NBA or MLB, maybe the league should borrow an idea from Major League Soccer and get its own Posh and Becks.

It seems ridiculous, but maybe the MLS is on to something – tabloid celebrities are a surefire way to gain widespread attention these days. When Yahoo released its most popular Internet search terms for 2006, the top 10 didn't include any athletes, events or even political leaders.

Nope, Britney Spears led the pack with other celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton.

*snip*

Pamela Anderson would make a promising match for Sidney Crosby. If the Penguins scoring sensation truly is following in Gretzky's footsteps, then he is destined to fall in love with a former Playboy model, just like No. 99.

The biggest problem is, obviously, logistics. There just aren't a lot of hotties floating around Pittsburgh for Sidney Crosby to hook up with, or in Washington DC for Alex Ovechkin to frolick in the daisies with.

In Sidney's case, the one notable Pittsburgh hottie is Christina Aguilera. Unfortunately, she's married to a dorky record producer, so she's off the market. Pamela Anderson? She’s been used more than a ball washer at a public golf course.

OH!

Besides, Sidney needs a 'good' girl, such as Canadian actress Kristin Kreuk, who must surely be a hockey fan. If she's not available, perhaps a goodie-two-shoes like Lacey Chabert? Then again, she looks like she could be Sidney's sister...

As for Ovechkin, we know he's outgoing and a bit freaky lookin, just the perfect type to hook up with a supermodel. Adriana Lima, perhaps?

Now, my matchmaking skills are obviously quite poor, and I don't hang around with too many supermodels, so the NHL needs to employ some real cupids to get their young stars hooked up with hot, young Hollywood blood. Get Martin Havlat shaggin Michelle Trachtenberg, and watch the free press flow in from the NHL.

A great idea? You betcha, and free.

Labels: Crosby, gossip, marketing, NHL, Ovechkin