Saturday, June 09, 2007
Baseball Managers are Bitches
by Jes
Imagine if Bryan Murray was really unhappy with Kerry Fraser's tripping call on Daniel Alfredsson, and was tossed for swearing at the ref.
Instead of going back to the dressing room, he storms onto the ice, starts kicking ice shavings on Fraser, rolls around on the ice and draws happy faces, and then runs down the ice and throws the net down around.
You can imagine the hammer would come down on him quite harshly.
In baseball? It's pretty much standard behaviour for your boss (the Manager) to act nutso.
Now, if you are one of this guy's players, how could you ever take your boss seriously? Why is it that baseball managers have cart blanche to act like 3-year olds? Do they not realize how utterly dumb they look?
Really? What is the point? These guys look like idiots, and this NEVER actually gets an umpire to reverse a call.
Of course, this does provide us fans with a whole lot of entertainment. Who doesn't enjoy otherwise passive men act like freaks once in awhile?
Imagine if Bryan Murray was really unhappy with Kerry Fraser's tripping call on Daniel Alfredsson, and was tossed for swearing at the ref.
Instead of going back to the dressing room, he storms onto the ice, starts kicking ice shavings on Fraser, rolls around on the ice and draws happy faces, and then runs down the ice and throws the net down around.
You can imagine the hammer would come down on him quite harshly.
In baseball? It's pretty much standard behaviour for your boss (the Manager) to act nutso.
Now, if you are one of this guy's players, how could you ever take your boss seriously? Why is it that baseball managers have cart blanche to act like 3-year olds? Do they not realize how utterly dumb they look?
Really? What is the point? These guys look like idiots, and this NEVER actually gets an umpire to reverse a call.
Of course, this does provide us fans with a whole lot of entertainment. Who doesn't enjoy otherwise passive men act like freaks once in awhile?
Labels: baseball, hockey vs. baseball
Monday, March 12, 2007
Why Hockey is Better than Baseball
by Jes
It's March, which means Spring Training has begun for my second-favourite sport: Baseball!!
Still, this IS a hockey blog, and I am Canadian, so I am obliged to point out what makes Hockey #1 and baseball a distant #2.
Here's one (edited) list, from Hockey vs Baseball, by Dan "Curly-Haired Boyfriend" Shaughnessy (published in the 1992 Flyers' Wives Fight for Lives Program)
1. Contact is allowed. Think about it. What Roger Clemens did in Game 4 of the AL Championship Series would go unnoticed in any hockey game. Give the ref a little shove. Tell him you'll find out where he lives. Tell him to have another doughnut. Nobody will say you're stressed out. It's no big deal. (Jes: Umm, give the ref a little shove and you can expect a nice long suspension)
2. Hockey players don't make as much money. They're more in touch with you and me. (Ok, so this one is becoming outdated....)
3. Hockey has Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones. Basball has Jose and ??? Canseco (Original line was Esther Canseco, but I think we're a few wives down the line now, with little improvement.)
4. Hockey is fast, faster, fastest. Baseball is glacier slow.
5. Carla, the waitress on Cheers, was married to a hockey player.
6. Hockey players don't do as many autograph shows and they come much cheaper.
7. Baseball players live on the disabled list. Hockey players take 30 stitches to the hand, spit on the wounds, and go back on the ice for more.
8. Hockey had The Rocket before baseball.
9. Hockey skills are instantly visible. When Bobby Orr played, a novice viewer immediately knew that Orr was the best player on the ice. Take your son to see Will Clark and the big guy might strike out four times and make you look bad.
10. Slapshot was better than Bull Durham.
11. Hockey has Gordie Howe. Baseball had Steve Howe.
12. Hockey coaches can dress like adults. (Jes: Imagine Marc Crawford wearing a Kings uniform. Exactly)
---
Here are a few others...
13. Hockey Hair (Sopel, Smyth...) - Much better than bad afros and cornrows.
14. Ice Girls vs. Ball Girls - No contest
15. Steroids Scandal. What steroids scandal? NHL actually tests for steroids, and we know it wouldn't be quite as beneficial for a hockey player (ask Brent Sopel).
16. Hockey has Brent Sopel - Baseball has no Brent Sopel
17. Hockey preseason games have fights - Baseball preseason games have regular players leaving after 3 innings of 'work'.
18. Lou Pinella might be a fiery guy, but he'd get his ass kicked by any NHL coach not named Paul Maurice.
It's March, which means Spring Training has begun for my second-favourite sport: Baseball!!
Still, this IS a hockey blog, and I am Canadian, so I am obliged to point out what makes Hockey #1 and baseball a distant #2.
Here's one (edited) list, from Hockey vs Baseball, by Dan "Curly-Haired Boyfriend" Shaughnessy (published in the 1992 Flyers' Wives Fight for Lives Program)
1. Contact is allowed. Think about it. What Roger Clemens did in Game 4 of the AL Championship Series would go unnoticed in any hockey game. Give the ref a little shove. Tell him you'll find out where he lives. Tell him to have another doughnut. Nobody will say you're stressed out. It's no big deal. (Jes: Umm, give the ref a little shove and you can expect a nice long suspension)
2. Hockey players don't make as much money. They're more in touch with you and me. (Ok, so this one is becoming outdated....)
3. Hockey has Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones. Basball has Jose and ??? Canseco (Original line was Esther Canseco, but I think we're a few wives down the line now, with little improvement.)
4. Hockey is fast, faster, fastest. Baseball is glacier slow.
5. Carla, the waitress on Cheers, was married to a hockey player.
6. Hockey players don't do as many autograph shows and they come much cheaper.
7. Baseball players live on the disabled list. Hockey players take 30 stitches to the hand, spit on the wounds, and go back on the ice for more.
8. Hockey had The Rocket before baseball.
9. Hockey skills are instantly visible. When Bobby Orr played, a novice viewer immediately knew that Orr was the best player on the ice. Take your son to see Will Clark and the big guy might strike out four times and make you look bad.
10. Slapshot was better than Bull Durham.
11. Hockey has Gordie Howe. Baseball had Steve Howe.
12. Hockey coaches can dress like adults. (Jes: Imagine Marc Crawford wearing a Kings uniform. Exactly)
---
Here are a few others...
13. Hockey Hair (Sopel, Smyth...) - Much better than bad afros and cornrows.
14. Ice Girls vs. Ball Girls - No contest
15. Steroids Scandal. What steroids scandal? NHL actually tests for steroids, and we know it wouldn't be quite as beneficial for a hockey player (ask Brent Sopel).
16. Hockey has Brent Sopel - Baseball has no Brent Sopel
17. Hockey preseason games have fights - Baseball preseason games have regular players leaving after 3 innings of 'work'.
18. Lou Pinella might be a fiery guy, but he'd get his ass kicked by any NHL coach not named Paul Maurice.
Labels: baseball, hockey, hockey vs. baseball
