Thursday, April 26, 2007

 

Wayne Gretzky's Blonde Bimbo Cries to Chatelaine

It seems Canadian 'lifestyle' magazine, Chatelaine, has run out of interesting people to put on their cover, so they are resorting to featuring the heavily airbrushed Gretzky Girls...




As you can find out in the article on their website, Wayne's trophy wife is having such a rough go at it, having to be away from her breadwinner so often. It's enough to bring a tear to one's eye, really...

Though the couple is seldom apart for more than 10 days at a time, it's still a long-distance relationship that leaves Janet a weekday parent to Paulina, Tristan, Emma and 14-year-old Trevor. (Sixteen-year-old Ty Gretzky goes to prep school in Minnesota.) "We've done this for a couple of years now, but I don't think we're going to be able to do it next year," says Janet. "This travelling back and forth is kind of getting to us."

Moments later, however, Janet sounds resigned. Moving to Phoenix would cause too much upheaval for her older kids, who enjoy life in L.A. Besides, she adds, Phoenix is only 50 minutes away by plane and it's never hard when she has her children with her. "It's when I have to leave my children that I don't like."
Oh, how could the kids possibly MOVE to another city! *GASP* They might be scarred for life!! Such anguish, pain, and misery... a 50 minute plane ride on a private plane? That must be so hard for you. Shall I crack open a bottle of Cristal to ease your suffering?



After drinking enough coffee to wake the dead, I actually managed to finish this terribly boring article, which sort of (very lightly) addresses that pesky gambling scandal:

"They were trying to paint something that just wasn't true," she adds. "It's unfair that Wayne and I have had a great marriage for 20 years and a nice family, and the people in the media could care less if they are trying to cause friction in your marriage, trouble in your family, and make your kids feel a certain way. That was a little hurtful because it was like, 'Why? What have we ever done to you?' "
Well, you did steal Gretzky away from Canada and take him to LA. *cough*

Loan Sharking, which was part of the allegations, and illegal betting, are criminal acts, babe. The media certainly made a bigger-than-it-should-have fuss about it, but your fingerprints are on the gun, so you ought to expect questions.

Overall, just a spoiled bunch of people.

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Comments:
Wayne's daughter obviously didn't get his genes... she's pretty hot.
 
This betch really annoys me. Okay, first of all, moving your kids around comes with the territory if your fricking house and plastic surgery are supplied by a hockey salary. It just reaffirms the rumours that she was the reason Wayne got traded to L.A. when he obviously didn't want to be so that she could live in the glorious Hollywood Hills. Gee, let me think - showing I am a committed wife or Rodeo Drive? That's a tough one!

Second, that photo almost looks like a scene from Poltergeist because it's so whited out (I don't know if that's really a term but you know what I mean).

Besides, him being gone so often is great since it doesn't interfere with her being such a ho.

As you can see, Jes, I'm feeling better. I think it has to do with Anaheim winning (just kidding).
 
Um, why the fuck are you reading Chatelaine?
 
Mclea, that was so funny that I spat my tea all over my keyboard.
 
I was in a long line at the grocery store and was flippin through it ... it was either that, or Bradgenlina's possible breakup.

Besides, I got some killer cooking tips!

Jeanne, good to see you feeling better.
 
Who knows, maybe there's a scandal about her touching little boys in the near future.

That bitch just wants her own tv show.
 
Loansharking and illegal betting are criminal acts, but to be fair to Janet, she was never involved in either.

She was never accused of being part of the so-called gambling ring that the much-ballyhooed "Operation Slapshot" alleged was league-wide (but to date has yet to prove went beyond Rick Tocchet) but was merely questioned about the bets Tocchet took for her.

It's not illegal to place a bet, but it is illegal to take bets without a license to do so depending on which state or province you live in.

As for the rest of that puff piece, I agree with Jes, although please don't do the Dennis Miller "babe" tag anymore. That's just creepy. ;)
 
Next time, stick with the Weekly World News in the checkout lane. Stories about the bat-boy, having a baby with Bigfoot, and dinosaurs on Mars are the real news! :D
 
whoever made this site is a complete idiot, just a sorry excuse for a person who has such a pathetic and useless life that they have to tare down other people just to make them feel better about themselves. just because you have such awful lives doesn't mean you know jack shit about the Gretzkys especially janet and their kids maybe they have lives whereever they live, wayne worked his ass off to make everything he has and to make his family happy. i think its now 20 years of marriage and there better off then most normal couples around. if you ask me canada is fucking stupid and filled with mindless idiots. no wonder everyone makes fun of candians your all useless morons.funny to read all this crap you sound like the most jealous group of people, almost feel bad for you.keep tearing people down see if it gets you anywhere.
 
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