By Greg

There's a bunch of random hockey-related crap scattered around my house, and among the items most likely to make girls think twice about spending time with me are a few hockey-themed cookbooks. They're always useful -- there's no better way to convince people you're part of high society than by cooking them something out of "Cordon Blue Jackets," for instance.

The other day, Jes -- who routinely holds posh dinner parties -- asked me for a Jiri Slegr-themed recipe (seriously). He asked the right man -- I'm the proud owner of a copy of the 1998 publication, "Goal Scorers & Gourmets: the Kansas City Pittsburgh Penguins Cookbook." It's a marvelous item -- hundreds of years from now, they'll be learning much about the late 20th century from the photos of Dave Hannan and Joe Mullen wearing aprons.

The team at the time was pretty Czech-heavy, with Slegr, Jaromir Jagr, Jan Hrdina, Robert Lang, and Martin Straka, not to mention Peter Skudra, who I always forget isn't Czech. (Among non-Czechs, Aleksey Morozov contributes a recipe for pelmeni, which I'll have to try at some point).

Slegr's recipe (ok, it's marked as "Jiri & Katerina Slegr," and I have a feeling Jiri's only contribution was in the eating) is for Garlic Soup, which sounded perfect today in a number of ways -- I've got a cold, garlic is the perfect food, and I've dealt with hockey players' recipes in the past. With the weather ugly, I stayed in this morning and made:



Ingredients:
4-5 garlic cloves, chopped
2 potatoes, skinned and chopped
1 or 2 cubes vegetable bouillon
1 tsp marjoram
1 tsp butter
Bacon (the Slegrs leave this up to the cook's discretion; I used three slices and was happy with the result)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 Jiri Slegr hockey card

* Place the Slegr hockey card in a place of honor in the kitchen. Feel the positive energy.

* Fry up the bacon in the same manner the Avalanche fried up the Red Wings last night. Crispy but not burnt is the goal. Chop that bacon.

* Actually, while you're at it, you've chopped the potatoes ahead of time, right?

* Pour two quarts water into pot. Perhaps I erred in not including "water" and "pot" in the ingredients. If you don't have a pot, go out and buy one, quick.

* I usually like to have a nice vodka and limeade or three while I'm cooking. Today I didn't -- I was cooking at 11 a.m. and I have some standards, however low and rarely-applied they may be. Nonetheless, about now is a good time to fix one.

* Add potatoes, garlic, butter, marjoram, bacon, salt, and pepper to the pot. Turn on burner. Watch pot, despite tales advising against such behavior.

* When mixture begins boiling, add bouillon. Realize you've been spelling "bouillon" wrong all these years.

* Let cook for, oh, about 20 minutes, stirring when you feel like it. Take this time to reflect on Slegr's many accomplishments. Listing his various teams alone takes up 20 minutes.

* Check the potatoes with a fork. They should be soft.

* Eat.

It turned out pretty well -- it'll be a good dish when I someday host the "Czech defensemen who played for the Thrashers then went on to greater success elsewhere"-themed dinner. A Czech beer would probably taste great with it, but remember, we're applying standards this morning.

Fun hockey-cooking-related fact of the day: Patrik Stefan's contribution to the Atlanta Thrashers' "Cooking With the Birds" cookbook was "Creamed Brains Soup."

Disclaimer: this recipe was created by Jiri Slegr, not Greg, so if you get sick or die from it, you should not sue Greg. Thanks.

Labels: recipes, Slegr