Monday, July 14, 2008


The Penguins Turn to Satan

by Jes

For much of his early career, I referred to Miro Satan as "Zero" Satan, as that is about how much effort and emotion he displayed on a nightly basis. Satan just oozes talent and has puck-handling skills rivaled by few NHLers, but he's had a habit of not putting up as many points as I think he ought to be able to.

After settling in with the Buffalo Sabres, Miro finally seemed to 'get it' and turned into a dangerous player. His leadership qualities mutated almost out of nowhere, and he was a regular captain for the Slovak team at various events. It was a surprising, but welcome, development.

Unfortunately, during his last season with the Sabres, Satan was spurned for the Sabres' captaincy and started whining and playing his way out of Buffalo. Miro was clearly stung and couldn't handle not being the top dog in the pound. His play deteriorated and he was soon headed for Long Island.

Satan is clearly no longer one of the top threats in the NHL, and his production, and attention to defence, has really declined over the past few seasons.

Year Team GP G A Pts +/-
1995-96 EDM 62 18 17 35 0
1996-97 EDM 64 17 11 28 -4
1996-97 BUF 12 8 2 10 1
1997-98 BUF 79 22 24 46 2
1998-99 BUF 81 40 26 66 24
1999-00 BUF 81 33 34 67 16
2000-01 BUF 82 29 33 62 5
2001-02 BUF 82 37 36 73 14
2002-03 BUF 79 26 49 75 -3
2003-04 BUF 82 29 28 57 -15
2005-06 NYI 82 35 31 66 -8
2006-07 NYI 81 27 32 59 -12
2007-08 NYI 80 16 25 41 -11

I was rather surprised that the Penguins would sign Satan to a 1-year $3.5M deal, even if they need the depth at forward.

Given that Satan is going to be 34 years-old next season, and was never the fastest cat to boot, I guess a decline can be expected.

It's just that, well, Satan has reverted back to his ZERO ways and doesn't look like he's worth that much money or a roster spot on a good team.

Watching Satan play last season, the guy looked SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Oh, the slick puckhandling skills were evident, but the guy looked like he was skating on quicksand. A lack of effort, age-related slowdown, or both?

I just wonder which Satan will show up for the Pens. While he clearly isn't first line material, he ought to be good for 20 goals and 50 points with a talented Pens team. Clearly, this is likely his last shot to prove that he hasn't fallen off a cliff like Jozef Stumpel did last season. If Satan's puts up the same crappy numbers, he'll likely be playing in that KHL before too long.


Movie Rant:

Will Smith, the king of the summer blockbuster, has loads of talent ... and I know I'll sound like a douche for questioning the decision making of a guy who has made millions and will make millions more ... but it seems like he wastes himself playing in less-than-stellar films. This summer's Hancock, which I haven't seen, looks to be another dud.

Amazingly, choosing Wild Wild West over The Matrix didn't kill Smith's career, which speaks to his talent and power. It does show, however, that Smith often chooses the quick buck over making a quality movie.

Look at this list ...

1999 Wild Wild West - One of the worst movies ever made, and not in a 'good-bad' way, either.
2001 Ali - An Oscar nomination and a career saver.
2002 Men in Black II - AN unnecessary sequel and not very good
2003 Bad Boys II - Another unnecessary sequel
2004 I, Robot - Another terrible movie that may lead to another bad sequel
2005 Hitch - Zzzzzz
2006 The Pursuit of Happyness - A boring movie (I thought so), but one that was well received and actually known for its quality.
2007 I Am Legend - Very disappointing movie that was expected to be better
2008 Hancock - Doesn't look good

When Will Smith retires, is he simply going to be known for summer blockbusters and nothing else? Looking at that list, most of his movies are not memorable in the least, and even Independence Day, which was one of the biggest blockbusters of all time, has aged very poorly.

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Will Smith should be remembered for his career as a parent-friendly rapper... Now THAT was something!!! LOL...

As for Satan, he belongs on the Devils, not the Penguins... Still, I think you'll see an upturn in his stats this season. He has to put in more effort (which I don't blame him for saving in Long Island - what a gong show!!) to get a contract beyond this season...
Smith was a classic on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air! That shizzle is still funny to me.
I Am Legend in my opinion was America's really lousy attempt at re-creating the British 28 Days Later, which really can't be topped.
First off...never underestimate the dark lord Satan... NEVER!

Second...I think that I, Robot is unfairly maligned. With the exception of the "coffee" scene with Bruce Greenwood, it's pretty entertaining.

Maddox pretty much says it best
Maddox? Really?
the British 28 Days Later, which really can't be topped.
Really? Maybe you could explain that to me, since I found that movie absolutely terrible... Shaun of the Dead, now THERE is a classic...

Anyway, love the Maddox reference Jes. That dude comes up with some pretty funny stuff...
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