by Greg

Earlier than I hoped or expected, I've got the sad choice most hockey fans have to face at some point: with my teams all on the golf course, who do I support going forward?

Even beyond my normal teams (the Thrashers and the Avalanche, if you forgot -- I haven't been around much lately) my secondary teams are gone as well. St. Louis never made it, Nashville (my pre-season Stanley Cup pick) is gone, all the Southeastern Division teams are out.

So I've got to pick from a group that's none-too-appealing, if I want this season to have any meaning for me.

A look at the candidates:

Western Conference

Detroit Red Wings

Pros: Absolutely none.

Cons: My least favorite team. Amazing collection of jackasses.

The verdict: I'm not rooting for them to do anything except collectively get STDs.

Anaheim Ducks

Pros: Dropped the "Mighty" and the eggplant uniforms. I'm a Chris Pronger fan. A SoCal Stanley Cup winner would be kind of cool.

Cons: Brad May, who really should be an honorary Red Wing. And did they scrap Wild Wing this year?

The verdict: A definite possibility.

Vancouver Canucks

Pros: Having divested themselves of Bertuzzi and May, they're a lot easier to root for. I have a Vancouver Canucks Christmas ornament (from a relative who figured all hockey teams are basically equal). Roberto Luongo is a pleasure to watch. They've been around as long as the Sabres, and don't whine as much about not having a Cup. Vancouver is, by all accounts, a pleasant city.

Cons: My rooting for the Canucks would make Jes and Alanah smug and insufferable.

The verdict: They're a contender.

San Jose Sharks

Pros: Nothing offensive about this team.

Cons: Nothing interesting about this team.

The verdict: If it gets to the point where it's only the Sharks and a team I hate, I likely will have lost all interest in hockey. And, perhaps, life.

Buffalo Sabres

Pros: If you haven't heard, Buffalo is the city without championships, and good God they deserve one. I like Drury -- and in fact, a lot of their players. I've got friends from the area (well, Rochester) and they're all fine people.

Cons: If I have to hear any more whining about how the city of Buffalo has been wronged over the years, I'll vomit out my spine. Actually, a theoretical end to the whining would be a reason to cheer them on.

The verdict: Maybe if they end up against the Red Wings.

New Jersey Devils

Pros: There's something coldly impressive about their one-track-mind commitment to winning. And I know Jes thinks poorly of him, but Brodeur is pretty impressive.

Cons: Who wants to root for Lou Lamoriello? Also, there's something relentlessly dull and robotic about the Devils, even if they're scoring 18 goals.

The verdict: See Buffalo.

Ottawa Senators

Pros: They've often filled this void for me in the past. There's good karma in rooting for Canadian teams. I still like Heatley, and several other players.

Cons: They always end up falling short.

The verdict: Quite possible. I'm fond of them.

New York Rangers

Pros: Lots of Czechs. I admire the way they've built their team (after years of doing it the wrong way). I sort of half-assedly buy into the theory that a New York win spurs interest in the States. Brendan Shanahan was my favorite player in the early-mid '90s.

Cons: The Thrashers loss made me accustomed to spitting venom at them. Shanahan sure ain't my favorite player NOW.

The verdict: Maybe in another round. The pain's still too fresh.

So, all that taken into account -- as well as all sorts of esoteric calculations that I won't begin to explain -- the winner is:

The Vancouver Canucks.

I feel a little queasy about this, I'll admit. I still remember the Steve Moore hit. There's plenty of bad blood.

But all things being equal -- a Canucks win would be most pleasurable to see. A team that's been around a while, a good fan base.

Runner-up would be the Senators. Actually, all I want is for the Red Wings to fall short. That's all I ask.

Labels: Canucks, hating detroit, playoffs, second round