Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Hockey Can Help Britney

Britney Spears is quickly catching up to Michael Jackson in terms of singers who publicly destroy themselves before our very eyes.

The crotch-flashing singer hit rock bottom this week as she went into a salon and shaved her own head. If you haven't been following this story, welcome back from the cave.

The saddest part? Nobody seems to want to help her.

Her bodyguards? They just sit there and hold her hand while she gets another bad tattoo or two.
Her family? Too busy cashing her royalties cheques.
The paparazzi? They just keep pushing and pushing and lap this crap up like a thirsty dog.
K-Fed? He's too busy promoting his highly successful debut rap album.

Fortunately, the great sport of Hockey is here to rescue the day for Britney Spears.

An American Hockey League team is offering pop star Britney Spears a break from the party scene and paparazzi madness in Hollywood - an all-expenses paid trip to snowy Syracuse.

And fans of the Syracuse Crunch are also getting a Britney offer: women who shave their head will get into Saturday's game against the visiting Manitoba Moose for free. Howard Dolgon, owner and president of the Crunch, said Tuesday he would be happy to fly Spears in, cover her hotel and meals and give her the best seats in the house at Crunch games.

The team said the invitation is an effort to "provide tranquillity" for the pop star's "turbulent lifestyle."

"In addition to being 3,000 miles away from Hollywood, Syracuse is light years away from that pretentious environment," Dolgon said in a statement.

"There won't be paparazzi within 100 miles."

The team has yet to hear back from Spears. If she does accept, each member of the team's front office staff will shave their heads.

Dolgon said he hopes Britney's behaviour will continue to be unpredictable - and that she'll actually take the team up on its offer.

"Hopefully we'll get her on the ice, teach her how to skate maybe, and maybe she'll have a post-game practice with the team," he said in an interview.

"If she'd like to belt out a few songs to get warmed up or try some new material out on our fans, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to listen to her."
I'm thinking most fans would flee for the exits if Britney was to screech some new material..

Are women actually crazy enough to shave their heads in order to get free tickets to an AHL game? No, not unless they are leukemia victims.

Still, this is good and free publicity for the Crunch. If only Britney would take them up on that offer...

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She looks like Jan Bulis.

And take if from someone who spent four years in Syracuse, NY - Britney could gain 200 pounds and not shave her legs or pits for 2 years and still be one of the top-20 most attractive women in the city.
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