Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Rory Fitzpatrick: All Star Dreams...Shattered

Poor Rory Fitzpatrick. For all of the bleedin' fan support 'e's received, the NHL kept 'im out of the All-Star game, ensurin' that many blokes won't even bovver ter tune in and wotch the bloody event.From CBC Sports:

Despite a strong online campaign, write-in candidate Rory Fitzpatrick of the Vancouver Canucks fell just short of joining the Western Conference starting lineup for the all-star game, the NHL announced on Tuesday.
Fitzpatrick received a record tally for write-in candidates, but finished third among defencemen in his conference with 550,177 fan votes.

Yer know, I would 'ave tuned into the bloody ASG if Fitzpatrick were there, do wot guvnor! Now, is it? I'll go hammer and tack to not givin' a rat's ass about this borin' corporate schmooze fest.

Do yer right trust the NHL votin' count, is it? Hmm, squire?

How do we know that the bloody NHL didn't just fabricate these numbers out of fin air? Are we gonna cop an independent audit of the votes from an accountin' firm? I doubt it. This votin' Rudolf 'Ess is about as transparent as the air over Mexico City. Cor blimey guv!

So, the bleedin' mainstream mediots and typical fanfellas will just take the NHL at their word wile puttin' their 'eads in the sand, init?

Meanwile, right, ol' Rory 'as 'is dream at winnin' a new truck at the chuffin' ASG smashed by a bunch of baldin', right, not-so-well-endowed loryers from New York. This is just anuvver example that the bloody Powers That Be don't care about yer.


This were all right well orchestrated by the NHL, o'course. Right. They milked some publicity out of the campaign, and then dropped 'im ter the chuffin' #3 spot in the previously released results. That way, the inevitable screw-Uncle Bob wouldn't 'ave a look so bad. If Rory entered the final stretch of the race in 1st or 2nd, there would be an outcry. Since 'e were already 3rd, the NHL could easily ensure that Rory didn't make it and claim that 'his campaign ran out of steam'.

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1) Rory getting the shaft was NOT a surprise. Especially for regular readers of the FAUXRUMORS blog: Read below-
So, is that a Czech or Slovak accent that you are using today?
Ah, good ol' Cockney slang, or at least I think that's what you're going for.
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