Monday, January 01, 2007


Hockey Rants New Year's Resolutions

January 1st, the day that most of us rue the fact that we spent, ate and drank way too much over the holidays. In a vain attempt to make up for our hedonism, we resolve to be better people in the new year.

This, of course, lasts anywhere from 1 hour to 2 weeks. Lose weight? Stop smoking pot? You know you can't keep those resolutions.

So, Greg and I have made some resolutions that we will actually attempt to keep and may actually do so. Being the good citizens we are, we've also got some suggestion resolutions for our NHL friends.

Jes: Will resolve to be nicer to Sweden, respond to emails much faster (within 2 weeks at least), blog about the hometown Canucks a bit more, and stop listening to so much Barber Shop Gangster Rap.

Greg: Will be more understanding of the problems Canuck fans face

For our NHL buddies:

Alain Vigneault -- Keep line combinations together for more than two periods.
Greg Millen - Stop repeating yourself.
Alexander Ovechkin -- Pass the puck more often
Jan Bulis -- Get physically involved in the play at least once a week.
Nicklas Lidstrom -- graciously cede a spot on the All-Star team to Rory Fitzpatrick
John Davidson and Larry Pleau - resolve to avoid signing anyone over 30
Bob Hartley -- stop upsetting the poor Washington Capitals so much
Doug MacLean -- stop quashing talent (cf. Balastik, Kloucek)
Milan Hejduk -- place the little black rubber disk into the net more frequently
Alanah/Canucks and Beyond -- stop making bets
Petr Tenkrat -- score a few more goals to make Greg look good
Comcast -- resolve to improve both their cable service and their hockey team
Avalanche - Stop bombing Mako reactors
Greg Millen -- Stop repeating yourself
Jeremy Roenick - retire
Don Cherry - Do some actual research before going on the air.
Leafs fans -- look at an atlas.
Gary Bettman - Tell the truth. It might hurt at first, but it'll feel so good later on.

Let's hope 2007 doesn't suck as much as 2006 did.

Jes, did you say the same thing about 2006 back in 2005?

In any case, let's hope that it keeps on getting better...

- Duc
"Mako reactors"? What? Huh? You're into the Staropramen, aren't you?
1) Ovechkin 'pass the puck more often"? For one he leads the team in assists, AND have you looked at who his options to pass to are? LOL
I can't help it with the bets. I know I have a problem!!

Proposed resolutions for you guys:
Jes -- deal with the fact that Vaic may never make it back to the NHL. (sad, but true!)
Greg-- next time you're up in Colorado, see if you can prove the existence of a hockey fan in Denver pre-1995... it'll help you come to terms with reality.
I have photos of me at IHL games, as well as a fairly hefty log of the "Colorado Blueliners" newsletter. I've got my Wilf Paiement autographs. I've got my Rockies jersey and Grizzlies pennant. BRING IT ON, Canuck fan.

And Vaic not making it back to the NHL? That's crazy talk. CRAZY.
Okay, the Paiement autograph is sort of cool. But "BRING IT ON Canucks Fan!" doesn't exactly fit with your resolution (mentioned in this very post) to be "more understanding of the problems Canuck fans face."

In fact, it's rather aggressive behaviour... especially for a fan of a team currently behind the great Canucks in the standings.
Look at an atlas? I am looking at one right now and it still has Toronto as the centre of the universe...
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