Monday, December 18, 2006


Nicklas Lidstrom: The Truth is Exposed!

While the Vote for Rory Fitzpatrick campaign has been doing well, it is running out of time to catch up with the likes of Scott Niedermayer, Chris Pronger, and Nicklas Lidstrom.

Besides the fact that Lidstrom is one of the few defensemen slotted as a default candidate in the voting process, he is also perceived as being just a plain ‘great guy’, and has milked his wholesome image to the fullest. Me? I never bought into that and has always suspected that he had a dark side. He is Swedish, after all! I’ve been working, behind the scenes, to discover the truth!

Well, thanks to information obtained by a colleague in the Vaic Intelligence Agency (VIA), we can now expose Lidstrom’s true nature to the world.

Nicklas Lidstrom

Yes, Nicklas Lidstrom, beloved leader of the Detroit Red Wings, has been bilking poor Swedes out of their money in the name of XENU.

Lidstrom is no average run-of-the-mill $cientologist, either. That’s right, kids, Lidstrom is the leader of the Swedish sect of this ‘religion’, after being anointed “The Chosen One” as such by deceased film director Ingmar Bergman. Lidstrom has been instrumental in suckering the likes of Daniel Alfredsson, Mats Sundin, and Christer Olsson into the cause, and could be targeting Detroit area folks for all we know.

The NHL? They’ve know about this all long. They simply chose to keep it a secret in order to avoid negative publicity. Lidstrom, from all accounts, has kept his dealings very private and does not discuss his Scientology with any Red Wings teammates, aside from Johan Franzen, also a fellow Scientologist.

“But Jes, aren’t you risking your life by releasing this information?”

Yes, but those are the risks I knew I’d be taking by joining the VIA.

“What do you hope to gain by releasing this information?”

Well, besides my continued mission to expose evildoers to the world, I also want to ensure that NHL fans are armed with all of the facts before they go and cast their All-Star ballots (for Rory Fitzpatrick).



I thought only actors were scientologists, making the swan diving Hasek a much better candidate for Detroit.

Judging by your picture, he also apparently has an enormous head. Reflective of his (until now, cleverly disguised) huge ego, perhaps?
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