It's that time...for our pre-season predictions.

Last year, the king of all blogger predictors, ME, your blog dictator, mind flayer, and Tommy Seebach imitator, managed to more accurately predict the final standings better than yomama's mainstream media guides. THN can kiss mein ass!
What does this mean? Not much, but I'll take any victory I can get over THE MAN!

Well, now I need to apply my Jedi powers to predict the pre-season awards. Here are Greg's stupid picks versus my extremely awesome selections. Can any of you do better? Probably not.

HART (MVP)
Greg: Petr Tenkr... er, Joe Thornton again. Not that it'll do him any good.
Jes: What kind of MVP can't score 30 goals in a season? oh, that's right, Joe Thornton, the king of playoff chokes. Jaromir Jagr? He'll get hurt. Ovechkin? Have you ever seen the kid make a pass? The award is Sidney Crosby's to lose. He'll win the HART and the ART ROSS, and make more money doing commercials than you will in 30 years of scooping ice cream for bratty little kids.

NORRIS
Greg: Scott Niedermayer
Jes: Niedermayer? Not a bad pick, but I'll go with the safe, boring, yet reliable Swedish pick in Nicklas Lidstrom.

CALDER:
Greg: Evgeni Malkin
Jes: Malkin? His injured shoulder has already set him back in the race, and he's uglier than Rosie O'Donnell before the TV magicians get to her. Poor Gilbert Brule gets no respect! This award is his for the pickin and he's my pick to win over the over-hyped Malkin.

SELKE
Greg: Jere Lehtinen
Jes: Ugh...I used to like this award, back when playing defence was something only the Brian Skrudland's of the world used to do up front. Now? Most forwards play just fine defensively. BORING!
I'll go with Patrick Marleau just for the hell of it.

LADY BYNG
Greg: Joe Sakic
Jes: Brad Richards. He has the personality of cardboard, but piles up the points with few penalties taken. Richards and Kiprusoff would be the worst comedic duo, evar!

VEZINA:
Greg: Tomas Vokoun
Jes: Vokoun? He's just a bit too loosey-goosey. This award belongs to Kiprusoff. Great SV%? Check. Great defence? Check. Lots of shiny wins? Check. Charming personality? Check.
Luongo just won't get any shiny wins and Martin Brodeur is ever more exposed as the Devils continue their slide.

JACK ADAMS
Greg: Dave Lewis
Jes: Dave Lewis? With that gross looking 'stache? Naw, this award goes to the that shows hella improvement. Thus, Jacques Lemaire will win.

ART ROSS
Greg: Jaroslav Bal... Ilya Kovalchuk, I mean
Jes: Jaroslav might win the award if he plays NHL 2007 for the PSII. Sidney Crosby will win, of course.

CONN SMYTHE:
Greg: Tomas Vokoun
Jes: A little early for this award, don't ya think? If I had to pick, I'll take Kiprusoff.

Bóža Modrý Award
Greg: L'ubomir Vaic, Liberec
Jes: Vaic isn't having much of a year, Greg. I'm going with old man Jan Peterek of Trinec. D00d is like 36 and outscoring all the other young whippersnappers.