Friday, September 29, 2006
Terrible Ted is Back on the Attack!
Because I love to torture, myself, I decided to read his online chat with idiots dumb enough to ask him questions. Now, I'll make you suffer as well.
fairfield, ca: hey ted- will mark bell be the answer in san jose? could he be the big winger that can take them to the cup? cliffWhat dimension would that be, Ted?
Ted Montgomery: He won't be enough to take them to the Cup, but he adds a dimension to the San Jose offense that will be a part of the overall puzzle
Speed? They got that.
Size? They got that.
Goal scoring? They got that
Playmaking? They got that
Experience? Bell don't got that.
Pittsburgh, PA: Ted, It's great to see the coolest game on Earth back in session soon...can't wait. I'd like to get your thoughts on the trapezoid rule behind the net. After watching last season, I really don't think it's needed. Goalies should be free to use their puck handling abilities and I think there would be more than enough scoring chances without it. Thanks, Jim
Ted Montgomery: Jim, I agree with you
Wow, don't get too verbose on us!
Noam N. Kogen, New York, NY: How will the New Jersey Devils do in the regular season and how far can or will they go in the playoffs this season?
Ted Montgomery: I learned long ago never to count out the Devils. Watch for Parise to have a fine year, and with Gomez, Elias, Gionta and Brodeur, what's not to like?
What's not to like? How about the fact that the Devils are in serious salary cap trouble. How about the fact that they are no longer a deep team, especially offensively. How about the fact that Brodeur is overpaid and overrated? Yeah, what's not to like...
Wichita Falls, Texas: Will the Dallas Stars make it to the Finals this year? They definitely have the talent....
Ted Montgomery: I doubt it. They have a rapidly aging team
Hmm, so while the rest of the NHL ages at a normal 1:1 ratio, the Dallas Stars are afflicted with a virus that causes them to age at 1.3x the speed of normal humans. I guess that's what you get when you sell your soul for a Stanley Cup, eh?
Chicago, IL: Do the Black Hawks have any shot or do they need a change of ownership to jump start this team?Well, even Ted gets the easy ones right.
Ted Montgomery: The Blackhawks have absolutely no chance to do any real damage this year, except to their long-suffering fans. I've written often about the ownership issues in Chicago, and they still exist.
Well, up until the last comment, Ted was making sense. Why so nervous about their goaltending? Toivonen and Thomas have great pedigrees and are obvious 100x better than Andrew Raycroft was. You ought to be worried about their lack of offence up front.
Salem, CT: Welcome back Ted! I was wondering what you thought of the Bruins this year. I'm not expecting miracles this year but I think the team has a chance for making the playoffs, or am I way off?
Ted Montgomery: I don't know. The Bruins are like a wobble wagon with one bad wheel. If that comes off, the whole thing falls apart. I like Chara, obviously, but I worry about their goaltending ... a lot
Yeah, and somehow the Canes managed to win with a roster of 'experienced' guys like Eric Staal, Cam Ward, Justin Williams, Martin Gerber. What experience do Jason Arnott, Paul Kariya, and Steve Sullivan have? Apparently, not much...
Pittsburgh PA: How high can Nashville go this year? Are they going to follow in the footsteps of Tampa and Carolina and win a Cup in a "nontraditional" market? How many of these cities have to win it all before fans top suggesting that the NHL contract teams in the south?
Ted Montgomery: They'll probably win the Central Division, and maybe a round or two in the playoffs, but they just don't have enough depth and experience yet to go all the way.
Yes, and any team that has Luke Richardson as it's #1 defenseman will get their share of wins....just a very small share, that's all!
Columbus, OH: Will the addition of Carter, Modin and Brule give the Blue Jackets a shot at the playoffs?
Ted Montgomery: I think the Jackets do have a shot at the playoffs, but only if they can avoid that old bugaboo, injuries. It'll take some luck, but any team with Rick Nash is going to get its share of wins
Of course, they had Tomáš Klouček but sent him down... morons.
(Yes, I got beat by both gsdgsd and Drew, but what the Hell.)
San Jose can use Bell to throw his body around, especially after teams took unanswered shots at Cheechoo and Michalek in the playoffs.
Carter and Bell will help adress that, and Brown should help an attrocious faceoff percentage. The question for the Sharks is D.
The real point in contraction is that in these southern towns hockey is just another entertainment option that the great Bettman markets, packages, and sells like Twinkies at a 7/11. Fact is few true hockey fans care about these southern teams, a quick google search shows that from last year of the 6 teams with the highest road attendance the one with the southernmost latitude was Detroit. And the 6 teams with the worst road attendance were Atlanta, Washington, Florida, Columbus, Nashville, and Tampa Bay. The only reason why we had to endure the strike, was so the accountants could make a finicial correction for Bettman's overexpansion. A few year's after the novelty of a new sport coming to town wears off, most of the non-traditional market towns have a hard time selling their product.