Sunday, July 02, 2006


I Wanna Love You Tender?

You know, I always thought Swedes, the Dutch, and Germans were strange people.

They are, but they all have to bow down to the Finns, thanks to this 'overtime goal' by Armi and Danny, with their awesome Engrish song "I Wanna Love You Tender"

They just don't make music videos like they used to.

Hell, I could write a whole damn essay on this clip.

Just in the first second of the clip, there are so many elements to analyse. You've got the host, who seems to be the Finnish Comic Book Guy who just came from the Dungeons and Dragons convention (Duünnjennit ja Draäâãgoônniit in Finnish, or something similar I'm sure). He's trying way too hard to be a hipster, and fails miserably. I'm willing to bet that this whole thing was filmed in his parents basement judging by the quality of the set.

In the background, it sounds they have some oldies song just finishing up. The singer sounds great, and then I'm left disappointed because I didn't get to hear more of the song. Not a single verse, or enough to make out a word. What if I just missed out on the best Finnish love song of all time? I'll never know!!

Then it fades out to the Milky Way and then some nebula thing. I bet the Finns back in 1970s thought these graphics were the absolute shit. Oh, you've got the credits BEFORE the video begins!! It doesn't even mention the singers. No, we get the guys who write the song and directed the video.

They are so proud of their creation that they just have to slap their name on it right up front. Hell, if I wrote this song and/or directed this video, I'd have it right at the top of my resume, highlighted in yellow.
How does this relate to hockey? Well, just think about it. Saku Koivu grew up headbanging to this song.

"Oh you're absolutely fine,
your lips are taste of wine.
I'd like to think your mine!"

"Duünnjennit ja Draäâãgoônniit in Finnish, or something similar I'm sure."

That's brilliant!
Holy crap.... you just made my year. That was the coolest thing ever!!!! After a heartbreaking encounter with a Finnish exchange student in high school, I had decided to hate the Finns. Now, I can no longer harbour any animosity towards them. TOOO FUNNY! Please note for future reference you should post a disclaimer before clips like this. I now owe my company for a new monitor after I spat coke all over after seeing the lead singer in those tight pants and Tom Jones-esque shirt/chains. Where should I forward the bill?

Note to self: save clip to study wicked 70's scandanavian dance moves. I'm going to have this song in my head for days...

"I love you, I want to love you la la la".
Please forward all invoices to

Evil Kingdom of Sweden
NUTEK, 117 86

Attention: Department of Anti-Finnish Activies
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