Friday, June 09, 2006

 

"Kill for me, wheel! KILL FOR ME, WHEEL"

An Oilers fan, a Flames fan and a Canucks fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Canucks fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Canucks fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Flames fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Flames fan out crying like a little girl.

The Oilers fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Oilers fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Flames fan to my back."

--

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The man answers "241."

"That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" the lady answers, "144."

"That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"

Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" the man answers, "51."

Albert responds, "How 'bout those Leafs?"

---

In honour of the World Cup of Soccer, here's Ingmar's girlfriend.


Comments:
Now there's something i'd buy from IKEA.
 
She's aged since we last saw her. I don't recall the stretch marks.
 
Those are some real knee slappers man.
 
The boobs or the jokes?
 
Zing!
 
At WHC in Austria, I shared a dorm room with 10 lovely ladies from Sweden.

The above picture has nothin' on any of them.
 
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