Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Stanley Cup Finals: Oilers vs. ????

I’m at peace with myself and the world, despite the fact that the lucky-as-Paris Hilton Oilers managed to win another game.

As those geekier than me would say, “Meh”

After Game 2, I had the same feeling as most Oilers fans: This series was over. I pretty much knew that there was no way in hell that you could derail the bad ship Oiler with all of the puck luck they’ve been having. According to the calculations generated by my EXCEL spreadsheet, the Ducks have a 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance of winning this series, rounded up of course.

I give the Oilers credit for a hard-working, gritty, and determined effort, but even the most homerific Oilers fan has to admit that they’ve been having EVERYTHING go right for them in these playoffs. A nasty flu bug was implanted by a secret operative, and that didn’t even do the desired trick! What’s it gonna take to stop these guys?

This Western Conference final will probably go down in history as one of the most unremarkable match-ups of all time. Who will remember this series in years to come? Ducks fans will want to forget it, and Oilers fans will be too hung-over to care. The Oilers series over the Wings is definitely one to remember, and the finals, no matter the result, will always be a source of nostalgia. So, we’re just waiting to see who their opposition will be in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Now, I’m sure that Oilers fans will be devastated once their team loses in the final. All the ‘woe is me’ coming out of Edmonton over the past decade would have you believe that Oilers fans have lived a life of agony and suffering thanks to the mean old' NHL and it's big spending clubs from big markets.

Do the Oilers really NEED a Stanley Cup parade? Hm?

Canucks fans still watching the playoffs, all 10 of them, should jump right on the Carolina/Buffalo bandwagon, or at least pull for the Oilers to lose. Canucks fans, Canes fans, and Sabres fans have much in common. We’ve suffered through years of crappy hockey teams, mismanagement, and have each had a heart-breaking trip to the Stanley Cup Finals that came up just short (We won't count the Canucks first trip, since that was a pleasant shock). The Oilers have had more Stanley Cups than most franchises (yes, that's right), and nobody should feel sorry for them if they lose in the finals. The Oilers fans seem happy enough just to win a playoff round, so let’s spread the joy where it’s most needed.


The Vancouver Giants also beat the Peterborough Petes, forcing a tie-breaking game and saving their Memorial Cup skins. Although no team has ever come from a tie-breaker to win the whole thing, there is a first time for everything. *phew*. Stayin’ Alive is not just a generic disco song, ya know.

Here’s some eye candy for you...

Keep your eyes on the prize, guys!

I think it's good that the NHL is trying to increase the 'cool' factor of the Stanley Cup. Sure, celeb shots with the cup are usually pretty contrived, but think of all the people being exposed to the Stanley Cup during their internet searches for Lindsay Lohan pictures. Anything to get celebs to show up at hockey games (Which, apparently, hasn't gone too well) and promote hockey in an indirect way is good marketing.

Plus, people enjoy looking at Lindsay Lohan.

(Hat tip to Michael the Hockey Fanatic for the lovely pic)

Nice try with The Disco Dancers!

Unfortunately, I got out in time and called upon my sinister "Team of Minus 50 DPK" and his angry as f**k raid-leader. He will own those senior citizens to shredded dots.

Sweden wins the first battle. 1-0.

Next move is yours...Woooo!!
Nice shot! Although I wish somebody told that skank to move, she's blocking my view of the Cup!
For those who don't know WTF Ingmar is talkin' 'bout

Show this to your favourite Finn the next time they talk smack about Canada ;)

I hate to tell you this, but you're the Oilers lucky charm. I think they are undefeated since you starting ranting on them. Pretty soon they'll call you up and ask you not to shower till the parade.

Speaking of dirty, nice picture of Linsday Hohan. The Cup is like beer, women suddenly become more attractive with it's presence.
You've captured the essence of my unhappiness with the Oilers' run precisely. This is a team that has 5 cups in the bank, yet their fans bleat and cry about how hard done by they are. They aren't hard done by -- they were blessed to cheer for one of the greatest teams in history. After that run, they should be content to spend the next century basking in the glory that was.

I love it when a team comes out of nowhere and goea on a run (Anaheim, Carolina, my beloved Flames). And once in a while, some team gets all the breaks, a bunch of potential tough opponents get upset and they fluke their way to the Cup. Unfortunately, it has usually been the Habs ('86, '93), another City that has had far too many Cups and should be content to let some other teams win until 2093 or so. After the Habs, the Oilers are the team and the town that deserve a fluke Cup the least.

Go Ducks. Go Sabres. Go Hurricanes. Go Lindsay Lohan.
>You've captured the essence of my unhappiness with the Oilers' run precisely. This is a team that has 5 cups in the bank, yet their fans bleat and cry about how hard done by they are

Dude, any real Oilers fan does no such thing. Any others are guys born between 1979-85 and have no recollection of any cup win, so it may as well have never happened. Amnd also: anyone who cheers for Anaheim is demented.
anyone who cheers for Anaheim is demented.

Yup. True fans of the game, these Oilboys.

I am demented, but it is a separate issue than me cheering for Anaheim.
Any others are guys born between 1979-85 and have no recollection of any cup win, so it may as well have never happened.

If you are taking this position, then I don't want to hear anything out of you guys about trading away Gretzky.

It may as well have never happened.
what the hell is she doing in front of the cup?
Stanley should be front and center!
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