Monday, May 15, 2006


The Oilers Must DIE!

I've finally found a cause in these playoffs. I finally have something to cheer for, rather than just sit idly by on the sidelines.

I admit it. I want the Oilers to lose, and am actively cheering for their demise.

“But, why? The Oilers are now Canada’s Team...”

BS. Edmonton is no more Canada’s team than the Maple Leaves or the Senators. The Oilers are Edmonton’s team, and the rest of the country cannot take joy in someone else’s victory. Nobody really likes Edmonton, otherwise more people would actually move there, and not to Calgary, Toronto, or Vancouver. You can have your ice-cold winters and mosquitoes, we’ll take our rain and mild weather, k? After seeing the Cup won by Tampa Bay of all teams, I’m pretty much numb to the Stanley Cup being won by oddball cities.

You wanna know why I want Edmonton to lose? Probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway.

I hate the Oilers because I am a bitter, angry, spiteful, jealous Canucks fan who is sick and tired of watching Oilers fans party it up when the rest of us Canadians have to suffer with less-than-inspired hockey teams (Sans Calgary, who just lacked offence). The Oilers are the luckiest bitches alive! The Oilers have no business being where they are today.

It started when the Oilers barely squeaked into the playoffs, thanks to just happening to suck less than the Canucks. They didn’t really ‘earn’ their playoff spot so much as luck into it. The squawking, in-your-face, gloating of many Oilers fans immediately turned me off from their ‘cause’. All of the whining about being a poor small-market club over the years was just BS propaganda by a lazy fanbase and media that couldn’t come to grips with the real reason the Oilers sucked: Piss poor management by Glen Sather and company. Why should a city that has actually won the Stanley Cup MULTIPLE times ever whine about anything? Nobody likes a spoiled brat.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Oilers get outplayed and out chanced by a team of superior skills in the Detroit Red Wings. Somehow, the Oilers managed to steal that series and knock off the #1 team in the NHL despite being outclassed most of the time and out shot about 350-12.

Now, we see the same pattern emerging in their series against the Sharks. Look at last night’s game!! The Oilers get out shot yet again (24-18), and somehow managed to score 6 goals!!! Why can’t the Canucks find goalies that totally decide to suck when they play against them?

Look at Game 4...The Sharks are up 3-1 and Joe Thornton hits the post on a shorthanded chance, allowing the Oilers a second-chance to come back and they do, thanks to Vesa Toskala committing the most brutal giveaway since some lucky schmucks in Ontario received Albertan energy rebate cheques. Does Vesa owe Sergei Samsonov some serious cash or what? Thanks to Vesa’s implosion, the Oilers are now 1 game away from getting swept by the Ducks.

Greg Millen...he LOVES the Oilers. That is reason alone to hate them, although I may reconsider my entire position if an Oilers fan were to shoot Millen through the head with a cross-bow.

The Blue Mile – Look, ladies, you aren’t nearly as good looking as the chicks here in Vancouver or even the cowgirls in Calgary. Do us a favour and keep your shirts on, k-thx.

Ron Wilson needs to make a regime change in goal, and install Evgeni Nabokov back in the nets for Game 6. Don’t even think about it, or consider the fact that Vesa may ‘get it back’, JUST DO IT!

As for the booing of the anthem, I really don’t care. Is there even a good reason for playing national anthems before sporting events?


No, I didn’t think so.

Ha ha.

I feel the same way about Vancouver, except for different reasons.

"All of the whining about being a poor small-market club over the years was just BS propaganda by a lazy fanbase and media that couldn’t come to grips with the real reason the Oilers sucked: Piss poor management by Glen Sather and company."

Surely you can't be including Oilers bloggers in this, since most of 'em would agree with this assesment. What I loathe is Vancouver fans cheering for Anaheim out some strange loyalty to Brian Burke and an even more perverse desire to be unique (because no one cares about their team, even thier fans).
Mike, we know bloggers are the exception to most fan rules. Most Canucks fans are pretty annoying and shallow, so I tend to keep my sanity by staying away from message boards and talk radio.

As for Anaheim... I hath no loyalty to Burke, as much as I miss him as Canucks GM. I could never cheer FOR a team named the Mighty Ducks, but I could certainly cheer against the Oilers if they meet up ;)
Canada cheering for a "Canadian" team, as though the teams down here don't have as many Canadians on them, is still one of the dumbest rooting reasons in all of sports.

If you can cheer for a team because of locale like that, there's no such thing as a regional rivalry.

Thank you for not supporting stupidity.
Agree with everything except Millen. He's a notorious Vancouver homer! And with Hughson they just SQUEAL whenever Vancouver beats Edmonton or Calgary.

And I agree with Mike W that small market teams dont suck because they're poor, they suck because they suck.

For example, Calgary missed the playoffs 7 years in a row and most of the those years Edmonton got in. Calgary was just run worse in those years.

Oh and drafing helps too, Calgary's draft picks in the 90s were awful while the Oilers were much better.
Boo Hoo.
For all your derisive comments about how shallow most Vancouver fans are, and how whiney most Edmonton fans are, you seemed to have just joined the ranks of both groups based on this performance. Hee. Get over it.

Besides, you can't really compare anything about the Canucks to the Oilers. The Canucks were inconsistent all year because of a lack of heart. Even when the Oilers were losing, they were still taking pucks to the face, genitals, neck, etc. on a nightly basis (that's right, even when they weren't playing). Furthermore, Toskala's breakdown has had more to do with excellent scoring chances afforded by SJ's defense than Toskala not playing well. Nabby came in at the end of game 4, looked nervous and shaky, and even ended up letting in a very weak goal. I can't wait to see him pee his pants when he gets into Rexall.
Is there even a good reason for playing national anthems before sporting events?

Because it gives everyone an extra minute-and-a-half to finish taking a pee?
I'm bitter. I want the Oilers to lose. You summed up what I had to say (mainly about the Wings vs. Oilers series). I still can't believe we lost. Yes, I'm very bitter...I finally had playoff tickets and only got to go to 2 games. Stupid Oilers...
Does muffin need some tissues????
You're breaking my heart.
Edmonton's picks were hardly better than Calgary's in the 90s. For every Daniel Tkaczuk, there is a Steve Kelly. Rico Fata, Jani Rita. We simply made better trades.
All you losers from these other "hockey" cities have got to stop whining about the OILERS doing well in the playoffs. Even if your not an OILERS fan be a hockey fan and get behind some of the best played hockey we have seen in years. OILERS to the cup after a nice rest after sweeping the Ducks. Bring on the East the WEST and the OILERS are going to be ready.
i agree, i want edmonton to die as well. The fact that everyone is cheering for them because they are doing good for once in their lives is a piss poor reason to cheer for them. God damn seasoned fans, same with everyone loving calgary last year, and everyone was such "die hard fans" and the red mile was great and all, but what now? yes they lost out, and all of a sudden you are all die hard oiler fans? i think not, who cares if they're from canada, half the players are from the states anyways, and vice versa with american teams.. do yourselves all a favour and give ur head a shake, oilers r gay, deal with it
The oilers should be the poster team for the "NEW NHL". It shows that you don't have to be the best to succeed. It takes hard work, the will to succeed, and lots of heart.

(just like Clay Aiken was to American Idol) lol

Be pround of them not as a Team from Edmonton, but as
a hockey club who has fought hard to achieve what they have. A good role model for younger wannabe's.

Oilers suck.

There's no way I'm cheering for the team that beat the Canucks out for the last spot.

Canes will destroy them.
hahaha oilers, bet that sucks that your down 2 games going home..maybe you can lose in the final at home, only goes to prove that the only thing keeping them in was their goalie, now that hes gone, they lost 5-0 today..burn..
you are mean!!! the oiler lost so what stop there is always next year. oh ya stop being a sore winner
i fuckin hate seeing oilers when i try to find old hats try typing in old hats in edmonton on google and all you will see is oilers this and oilers that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHA that is so awesome, its about time someone said that!!!I totally agree with everything you say!! Screw canadian pride,be a loyal fan and go for your rivals rival!!
yup, I've been an oilers fan since I was born. But since the Ryan Smyth trade I am hoping the oilers lose every single game they have this season. It came into prespective when they traded Ryan that they have to get rid of any head office personel that had anything to do with the glory days. Get over it, it was good but let it go dammit. The ownership also sucks a big rope. Why didn't they just pay Ryan. They are gonna lose the difference and then some on ticket revenue. So many Oiler fans have turned their head on the front office. I know its not the end of the world for the team but, I'm thirty years old, and the chance of the Oilers winning the cup in the next ten to twenty years are looking tits up!
Looks like the shoe is on the other foot now.
Let's not cheer for Vancouver because we all know the majority of their points come from non-canadian players anyways.
If anyone on their team deserves the cup this year I would say it should be Kesler and Burrows.
Kesler because, well, he's played incredibly THROUGHOUT the playoffs.
Burrows because he has been one of the only other players on his team (besides Kesler) to actually step it up in the play offs consistently as opposed to just assuming they would win because, let's face it, they're an extremely skilled team.
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