Monday, February 13, 2006
Olympic Hockey: Bad for your health!
Forget voodoo dolls, Chinese Water Torture, and Ashlee Simpson music, if you really want to hurt someone, just name them to an Olympic hockey team roster.
SLOVAKIA
My g/f (the Flyers fan, bleeeccchhh) told me that Michal Handzus had been skipping practices regularly since December. I guess I can't be all that shocked that Handzus has pulled out of the Olympics. Do pice!
Slovakia is already thinner than Nicole Richie at center, so this is a seriously big blow to their already slim chances. Who's left? Jozef Stumpel and Richard Kapus :(. Pavol Demitra was named team captain (a big slap in the face to Miroslav Satan, who didn't deserve the C back anyway) and will have to play at center for sure now.
SWEDEN
In typical Peter Forsberg fashion, the guy just won't stay dead!!! D00d is like a villian in a horror movie. You can skewer him with a crowbar, burn his face with a blowtorch, and saw off his right arm and he'll just get up and keep chasing you with that psycho look in his eye.
It looks like he'll skip the prelim games and then probably come back for the playoff games and score 10 assists in 3 games.
FINLAND
As if their offense wasn't troubled enough, Antti Miettinen (not to be confused with Antti Laxative of the Minnesota Wild) has pulled out and will replaced by Niklas Hagman. Antti is the 7th(!) Finnish player finished before the tournament begins. Jeezus.
LATVIA
Eurohockey.net Latvian correspondant, Jess Golbezs, reports that Sandis Ozolins will be playing for the Latvians after all, just in time to give Arturs Irbe a new ulcer.
It must be the high quality beer.
(Molson Cold Shots at 6%? Even Czech babies wouldn't get drunk drinking that lame excuse for beer)
SLOVAKIA
My g/f (the Flyers fan, bleeeccchhh) told me that Michal Handzus had been skipping practices regularly since December. I guess I can't be all that shocked that Handzus has pulled out of the Olympics. Do pice!
Slovakia is already thinner than Nicole Richie at center, so this is a seriously big blow to their already slim chances. Who's left? Jozef Stumpel and Richard Kapus :(. Pavol Demitra was named team captain (a big slap in the face to Miroslav Satan, who didn't deserve the C back anyway) and will have to play at center for sure now.
SWEDEN
In typical Peter Forsberg fashion, the guy just won't stay dead!!! D00d is like a villian in a horror movie. You can skewer him with a crowbar, burn his face with a blowtorch, and saw off his right arm and he'll just get up and keep chasing you with that psycho look in his eye.
It looks like he'll skip the prelim games and then probably come back for the playoff games and score 10 assists in 3 games.
FINLAND
As if their offense wasn't troubled enough, Antti Miettinen (not to be confused with Antti Laxative of the Minnesota Wild) has pulled out and will replaced by Niklas Hagman. Antti is the 7th(!) Finnish player finished before the tournament begins. Jeezus.
LATVIA
Eurohockey.net Latvian correspondant, Jess Golbezs, reports that Sandis Ozolins will be playing for the Latvians after all, just in time to give Arturs Irbe a new ulcer.
Defenseman Sandis Ozolins of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks is expected to complete the in-patient portion of his treatment with the NHL Substance Abuse Program and be released to represent Latvia at the 2006 Winter Games, according to a Canadian Press report.It's sad, but true. This tournament is turning into a battle of attrition before the games even start. How the hell are the damn Czechs staying so injury free?
It must be the high quality beer.
(Molson Cold Shots at 6%? Even Czech babies wouldn't get drunk drinking that lame excuse for beer)
Comments:
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Hey, Latvian Correspondent-- any reason why Juris Stals didn't make the Olympic team?
I'm pretty sure he was on the national team at the 2005 WC, if only as a reserve.
The kid deserves more respect. (The Rangers keep him buried in Charlotte, but he's at least an AHL-level defenseman, I think.)
I'm pretty sure he was on the national team at the 2005 WC, if only as a reserve.
The kid deserves more respect. (The Rangers keep him buried in Charlotte, but he's at least an AHL-level defenseman, I think.)
I wouldn't put Miroslav Satan at Centre. We have Tomas Surovy, and Marcel Hossa who are both comfortable at C.
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