Tuesday, January 10, 2006
"Dear Leafs, You Suck!"
24 Hours, a local rag, decided that it had been far too long since the Toronto Maple Leafs had been bashed.
It's a so-so effort, but it's been awhile since I've posted any Leafs-bashing material. The Vancouver City Blog Association will close down my site if I don't post something anti-Toronto at least once a month. It's a fact!
---
- That annoying Canadian Tire guy is a Leafs fan for sure. You don't want to be like him, do you?
- That transplanted Leafs fan named Tony whose business card says he "rakes leafs" for a living. Arguably, two reasons why he rakes leaves for a living.
- Darcy Tucker. Little [insert rhyme here].
- Tim Horton's doughnuts. Full of holes, just like the Leafs' defence.
- Those annoying Leafs fans who never miss a game. In particular, Bob Cole, Harry Neale and Don Cherry.
- Darryl Sittler's perm + Mats Sundin's smile + Tie Domi's head circumference = Good game, Mr. Hasselhoff...
- The last time we saw the Leafs at the Roxy, they were drinking American beer. Worse than that, they looked buzzed.
- That guy on the team who's had, like, 88 concussions. What was his name again? No, seriously, he wants to know.
- Their mascot is a polar bear named "Carlton." Total loser.
- "Leafs" blow. Call Tony.
- Their best player isn't even Canadian. He's Swedish. Okay, never mind...
- The only difference between the Maple Leafs and a cigarette machine is ... you can get Players in a cigarette machine.
It's a so-so effort, but it's been awhile since I've posted any Leafs-bashing material. The Vancouver City Blog Association will close down my site if I don't post something anti-Toronto at least once a month. It's a fact!
---
- That annoying Canadian Tire guy is a Leafs fan for sure. You don't want to be like him, do you?
- That transplanted Leafs fan named Tony whose business card says he "rakes leafs" for a living. Arguably, two reasons why he rakes leaves for a living.
- Darcy Tucker. Little [insert rhyme here].
- Tim Horton's doughnuts. Full of holes, just like the Leafs' defence.
- Those annoying Leafs fans who never miss a game. In particular, Bob Cole, Harry Neale and Don Cherry.
- Darryl Sittler's perm + Mats Sundin's smile + Tie Domi's head circumference = Good game, Mr. Hasselhoff...
- The last time we saw the Leafs at the Roxy, they were drinking American beer. Worse than that, they looked buzzed.
- That guy on the team who's had, like, 88 concussions. What was his name again? No, seriously, he wants to know.
- Their mascot is a polar bear named "Carlton." Total loser.
- "Leafs" blow. Call Tony.
- Their best player isn't even Canadian. He's Swedish. Okay, never mind...
- The only difference between the Maple Leafs and a cigarette machine is ... you can get Players in a cigarette machine.
Comments:
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And that comment pretty much sums up Leaf fans perfectly. Exuberant, but make no sense at all. :P
# posted by 
: 9:11 am
: 9:11 am
Don't lump me in with that maroon.
But you will be losing to the blue and white this evening.
Alex who is in net? Good luck with that.
But you will be losing to the blue and white this evening.
Alex who is in net? Good luck with that.
I know I'm going to catch heat for this... but...
This list has got to be the most ridiculous and lame effort at trying to slam the Leafs. Let me try and debunk this crap.
1.) Horton also played for the Penguins and Sabres. Does the restaurant with his name denigrate those teams too? How does equating the food quality have anything to do with the Leafs play?
2.) Tucker rhyming is rude and not in form with Canadian casual stereotypical politeness.
3.) Cole, Neale, and Cherry are Canadian icons. How many famous people are fans of the 'Nucks?
4.) With all the taxes, I guess they save money by drinking American beers at the Roxy, no?
5.) Okay.. Lindros is indefensible.. I concede you can have that point.
6.) The polar bear is a cute and cuddly marketing brand. It brings in millions of dollars for Coke-a-cola.
7.) The greatest player for the Leafs is indeed Canadian. Daryl Sittler.
8.) But you also get cancer out of a cigarette machine too. The Leafs donate year after year to cancer charities.
So.. there ya go... your attempt at denigrating the Leafs has been debunked.
This list has got to be the most ridiculous and lame effort at trying to slam the Leafs. Let me try and debunk this crap.
1.) Horton also played for the Penguins and Sabres. Does the restaurant with his name denigrate those teams too? How does equating the food quality have anything to do with the Leafs play?
2.) Tucker rhyming is rude and not in form with Canadian casual stereotypical politeness.
3.) Cole, Neale, and Cherry are Canadian icons. How many famous people are fans of the 'Nucks?
4.) With all the taxes, I guess they save money by drinking American beers at the Roxy, no?
5.) Okay.. Lindros is indefensible.. I concede you can have that point.
6.) The polar bear is a cute and cuddly marketing brand. It brings in millions of dollars for Coke-a-cola.
7.) The greatest player for the Leafs is indeed Canadian. Daryl Sittler.
8.) But you also get cancer out of a cigarette machine too. The Leafs donate year after year to cancer charities.
So.. there ya go... your attempt at denigrating the Leafs has been debunked.
Thanks, Anonymous, for taking such a gargantuan step backwards on behalf of all Leaf fans.
This man does not represent me!
This man does not represent me!
# posted by : 11:43 am
: 11:43 am
Wow Anonymous, I'd expect that kind of garbage from the Red Wings trolls that have been hammering the 'Canes boards over the last couple days.
How's Queer'Neill working out for you, hmm?
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How's Queer'Neill working out for you, hmm?
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