Saturday, September 17, 2005


NHL: Keith Tkachuk is still as Schmuck

I was a bit puzzled when the Blues named Dirty Dallas Drake as their captain, and not the usual suspects like Keith Tkachuk and Doug Weight, or even old man Eric Weinrich.

Granted, Dallas Drake has not been quite as cheap and dirty as he was in his Jets/Coyote Ugly days, and he's been a good soldier, but I wouldn't have figured him as captain material.

While perusing ,the news this morning, we can find the obvious reason why Keith "Upchuck" Tkachuk is not the captain of the Blues - He's been suspended for failing a physical!

Blues forward Keith Tkachuk will not be with the team when players report today for training camp.

Why Tkachuk failed the Blues' medical exam is unknown, but it's important to note that players have failed team physicals in the past and not been suspended.

There have been reports in recent weeks that Tkachuk, 33, was over his normal playing weight, listed as 231 pounds in the Blues' 2003-04 media guide.

So, it seems Tkachuk hasn't matured or grown up any over the years. I don't mind if athletes make big money - That's the market! It does irk me and most any fan when guys like Tkachuk show up overweight and out of shape.

You are a hockey player! Your sole responsibility and purpose in life involves being in top physical condition. There is absolute NO excuse to show up out of shape and doughier than the cookies my mother never used to bake for me. This is even more exasperated with the fact that Tkachuk is one of the highest (over)paid players in the NHL with a $7+mil contract in the bank.
Rather than take Tkachuk to task over his laziness, coach Mike Kitchen is already making excuses for one of his lone offensive weapons:

"Players have to come to camp in shape," Kitchen said. "He's been terrific following the program previously. The work stoppage has been hard on a lot of people. We had a lot of frustrated players. ... They had so many dates they had to peak, and they weren't able to hold their level of fitness."
Not able to hold their level of fitness? How hard would it be for Tkachuk to maintain a regular workout schedule when he didn't have any other WORK TO DO! I know I have little trouble going to the gym 4-5 times a week and I have full-time work and part-time school. What the hell was TK doin this whole time?

I'm hoping Barret Jackman levels this doofus with a crisp bodycheck if/when Tkachuk does return to the ice for the Blues.

Advice to GM's, start putting bodyfat percentage clauses into your contracts.


It was somewhat surreal to see real (well, preseason) action highlights on the tube last night, wasn't it? After a whole year off of NHL hockey, I got unusually giddy at watching PRESEASON highlights. Geez.

Oh, and shootouts still suck.

I agree entirely. I've never understood wealthy athletes allowing themselves to get fat and out of shape. With the money they make they can afford a personal gym, trainers and dieticians. There is really no excuse.
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