Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Reefer Madness in Slovakia!

PRAVDA (the former Communist party paper) reports that Martin Hanzal, captain of Pavol Demitra’s Dukla Trencin squad, has tested positive for the banned substance THC (The good stuff in Marijuana that makes you higher than a kite).

(He kinda looks 'high' in this picture, don't ya think?)

With the team preparing for the upcoming European Champions Cup, it looks like Dukla could be without their captain for the tournament. Has Dukla’s championship hopes gone up in smoke?

Well, Hanzal will continue to practice with the team until the ‘B’ sample is analyzed. If the results turn out negative (no THC), then he could possibly be reinstated. Until the ‘B’ sample is analyzed, the Slovak Federation and his team will wait to punish Hanzal.

This has me wondering...why test for THC at all?

Sure, marijuana is illegal in most places in the world, but why would you want to test for THC as a performance enhancing drug?

This isn’t a forum to debate the (il)legality of 'special' brownies, but I do know that smoking marijuana brings about dizziness, fatigue, hunger, nausea, and the ability to laugh at any of Eddie Murphy’s post-48 Hours movies. The last thing I would want to do, or could do, after smoking a joint is to play hockey.

If I want to pep myself before a big game and give myself a boost, smoking a blunt fattie would rank far down the list of consumables.

(For the record, I did *not* inhale...really!)

If I were on one of the opposing teams, I’d be quite happy that one of Trencin’s better players is doped out. It would certainly make my life a lot easier.

For the moment, I will now give Martin Hanzal the nickname of “Tvrd’ák”, or ‘Pot Hat’. The big dope deserves that much. It’s too bad that AK Bars Kazan is not in this tournament. I’m sure Sergei Zinovjev would have loved to share a bong with Hanzal.

His name is Marcel Hanzal I believe.
Yes, you are certainly right.

See what this stuff does to your short-term memory? :)
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