Tuesday, April 03, 2007

 

Confessions of a Sean Avery Hater

by Jes

Sean AveryThe fun has really started over at the NHL Fanhouse, with JP coming out of the closet as a Sean Avery fan. It seems more and more of these Avery lovers are coming out of the woodwork.

Sean F’in AVERY?

Sure, I’m an open-minded fellow... different strokes for different folks and all that, but have some frickin’ standards, would ya? Yes, I *would* kick Paris Hilton out of my bed if she ever leaped onto it. I prefer my crabs on a plate with some butter, green beans and potatoes, kthx.

Yeah, I not afraid to admit that I HATE SEAN AVERY, with a frickin' passion!

Sure, there are garden-variety reasons to hate the guy: His racist and ignorant comments, his cockiness, his cheap shots, his two-faced personality, his annoying smirk, and his bagging of Hollywood hotties. That's just part of the equation, however.

Why can't I stand the guy? Because, he just does not EVER ... SHUT ... THE ... HELL ... UP!

Any time I think of Avery, I go back to a Kings/Canucks game I attended at GM Place last season. Avery was at the end of the bench, talking non-stop to the officials, ice girls, opposing players, teammates, the water bottles, camera crew, etc ... blah blah blah blah blah! You could tell that his own teammates wanted nothing to do with the guy, and all that was missing was a mirror for Avery to admire himself with.

How can any sane person not want Sean Avery to get smashed in the face by a Zdeno Chara elbow?

I'm sorry, but I cannot stand people who love the sound of their own voice and feel the need to talk non-stop. Knowing Avery's level of intelligence, it would only add to the annoyance factor to hear his drivel 9 out of every 10 seconds of the night.

There is a reason why a majority of NHLers picked Sean Avery as the most hated among their peers, and I'm sure many of them were his former and current teammates. I know that if I were ever on the same team as Avery, I'd end up going postal on the guy during a practice, and send him to the hospital with a third grade concussion.

You know it as well as I do, Avery was the cocky prick who bullied you at high school and dated all the hot chicks you fantasized about.

That said, it's great to have the guy in the league. Every story needs a good villain, right? It will be lot more satisfying to see the Rangers choke in the playoffs (and they will) with Avery on the team.

(Cross-posted to the NHL Fanhouse)

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